The question of, 'Who am I?' was answered not as, 'The (insecure) girl who laughs at inappropriate jokes to gain acceptance from her peers, but, 'Daughter of the King. Pure and lovely'. This journey was heartbreaking. I cried tears of repentance unto God, as I changed how I lived. I became acutely aware that we should never compromise our values in order to feel valued.
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While working out one day, the thought came to me: is this something I am willing to fight for? Is this something I am willing to push myself in? Am I willing to fight for this even when I don’t feel like working out? Am I worth it? What am I willing to fight for?
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Somewhere along the way, a belief might have become a part of our thinking: we receive love when we do something good or something worthy of praise. As a result of believing this, we end up doing things, not out of love, but with the motive to receive love. When we view our relationships with a transactional mentality, it shapes how we believe God loves us. For example, if we do something good, we get love and if we do something bad, that love is taken away. Our brains revert to this perverted version of love; that is a lie. This destroys our view of God, what He has done for us, and His grace.
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Even when we have sinned and are dirty, in God’s eyes, we are worth the same amount as the brand new iPhone just off the conveyor belt versus the used iPhone that needs a few Clorox wipes taken to it.
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Thanks to the constant barrage of media, it’s easy to come to the conclusion that you will never be enough. There’s always pressure to do more and be more. And, even if you have somehow managed to escape the feeling that you must measure up to the way that others look or act, you are still likely to sink into the trap of thinking you are not enough.
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