Am You Worth Fighting For?
I’ve recently been working through the new perspective that I am enough. God says I am enough, in fact, He says I am enough for Him to send His only son, Jesus, to die on the cross for me. That’s just how “enough” I am (John 3:16).
While working out one day, the thought came to me: is this something I am willing to fight for? Is this something I am willing to push myself in? Am I willing to fight for this even when I don’t feel like working out? Am I worth it? What am I willing to fight for? Why do I shy away from the things that require work? I do them for a while and then hinder myself so that I don’t finish or finish as I would have wanted.
I am a person who wants to do everything with excellence but sometimes I let my human standards of excellence stop me from fighting for things. So, what is worth fighting for? What is my why behind anything I do? Why am I working out? Why do I think I work out once and then “BAM!” expect to lose weight, be stronger, healthier and more toned? That’s not how it works! Just like so many other things in life, working out takes time, consistency and dedication.
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Am I worth fighting for? Until about four months ago, I have believed my whole life I wasn’t worth it. I wasn’t worth fighting for. I didn’t fight for myself and definitely didn’t let others fight for me. Even after becoming a believer, there was still this deep-rooted belief I wasn’t enough and wasn’t worth it. Is that Biblical? NO! But even knowing it wasn’t Biblical didn’t help me because I did not have a knee-dropping, heart-wrenching, and eye-opening perspective change with the Lord. I wouldn’t admit it to others and definitely not myself. God can’t change what we don’t first admit aloud.
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. - Ephesians 2:10
It wasn’t until I was asked to lead a group of women around the world that something shifted in me. I had lead missionary groups before, but this time was different. I didn’t want to put the burden I was carrying on my group. I knew I was struggling, I knew I needed Jesus to speak into the situation, but I wouldn’t let Him. I wouldn’t let Him because I was ashamed. How could I believe and follow Jesus but not believe in myself? I knew that wasn’t what God thought of me but I wouldn’t let that go. I had made that a part of my story, self and identity, even though it wasn’t true. I clung to it. I felt the heaviness of what I was carrying, I started seeing how it weaved itself into every aspect of my life and I allowed it to happen. I had reached my limit and was done.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. ”
At the training to prepare us to leave the country and travel around the globe, we had a worship session one morning and I dropped to my knees with grief. A heaviness I had only felt a few times in my life settled upon me. But in that moment, I felt Jesus kneeling beside me with His arms around me, weeping with me. My grief and pain were His. He knew and felt the depths of my pain and hurt. It wasn’t until I fell to my knees and let Him in that I could start to let His love heal me.
When I stood up, I left all the weight that burdened me at the feet of the cross and immediately felt lighter. The cloud had lifted and I screamed with joy on the inside. It wasn’t as much an outward shift, but an internal, eternal shift. I felt like I could hear the angels in heaven rejoicing and praising God. I believe when I get to heaven and am looking at the story of my life, this one decision will have changed the trajectory of my life.
God does not shame us, ever! Shame is from the enemy. God’s loving conviction leads to repentance and resurrection healing. He always meets us where we are. So, that thing you know is there and won’t tell anyone about, He knows, cares and isn’t afraid of it. In fact, He wants you to bring that to Him. He loves you, baggage and all. But He wants to free you of whatever is holding you back until His love over you becomes His masterpiece to the world, bringing Him honor and glory. Your life is a testimony to the people around you that if God could do it for you, He can do it for everyone else too.
But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Since then, God has taken me on a journey of healing and allowed me to see areas in my life where I allowed my belief that I wasn’t worth it affect relationships, jobs and other life experiences.
This has not been an immediate shift. I still have my moments but I see now in the hard times that I my perspective has shifted. I am believing I am worth it. This life is worth fighting for. I am worth fighting for. My body and relationships are worth fighting for.
Once I willingly gave God another part of my heart that I was keeping from Him, He did a heart and mind shift within me. I am excited to continue on this journey of healing with the Lord and see what else He brings up in His timing. I am thankful for the grace of His wisdom and knowledge to know this was the right time for Him to bring this to my attention. I know had He brought this up earlier in my life, I wouldn’t have been able to process this. Healing is a process and it takes time, but God has all the time in the world!
Have an honest conversation with God:
Are there areas of your heart you are keeping from Him?
Are there any lies from the enemy you believe?
What is God trying to tell you in those areas?
What is God asking you to do next?
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:38-39
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kendra currently resides in Northern Idaho after just coming home from a year spent traveling the world for Jesus to 11 different countries! She loves adventures, traveling, spending time with family and friends, taking her dogs on walks, is currently training for a half marathon, laughing and using her essential oils. Her heart is to show the love of Jesus to each and every person she encounters, to let them know they are loved, respected and heard. Her passion is to awaken the warrior that God has created each of us to be, growing in deeper love and connection with God and the life He has given us! Kendra is excited to be H.O.T (honest, open and transparent) with y'all in her walk with God.