A new series with Tirzah!
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I’ve been spending many of my summer evenings at the river, swimming in the salty marsh river near my home in coastal Georgia. Before I jump in, I watch the water. The current flows confident and trusts the tides to continually flow. I want to enter the flow. I want to feel the flow on my skin. I want, even more, to feel the flow in my soul. I want to enter a flow state.
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Preschoolers are a study in contrasts. They are full of energy and want to talk to their friends, stay completely engaged in everything that’s going on, and overhear every possible conversation. But their bodies need to recharge. These two opposite “needs” make naptime an interesting part of the day in a preschool classroom.
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From where I stood, looking over the salt marsh near my home to see the vast night sky, the two planets nearly touched. Jupiter and Saturn, the two biggest worlds in our solar system, aligned and were closer than they had ever been in 400 years.
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Recently, I struggled to hear God’s voice in the midst of the chaos that is going on around me. I needed to grow in my relationship with God, but I felt stagnant in my efforts. Every time I tried to pray or read the Bible, God felt so distant. I felt like a bad Christian. It seemed like I was talking to an old friend, who couldn’t relate to me, and there was a barrier between us so I couldn’t clearly hear His voice. With tears in my eyes, I slowly admitted this to one of my friends… I struggled to hear God’s voice. I felt like the Lord was far from me. I read my Bible and prayed. But I still felt overwhelmed and defeated.
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When someone lives through a life-changing event or trauma, like I did when I lost my sight, people often wonder how they are able to keep moving and carry on with life.
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This blog post is inspired by the Orange Curriculum that my 10th grade girls are undergoing at this time. Our most recent series is Finding Rhythm. It made me think about my daily, weekly, monthly, yearly rhythm with God. Besides going to church every Sunday, and midweek on Wednesdays how do I find my rhythm with God? If one is seeking rhythm with God, how does one start?
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I always assumed hearing God’s voice was a phenomenon reserved for people for more spiritual people than me. Previously, my opinion about people who say they “hear from God” sent up a red flag in my mind. It was a sign of delusion, not of blessing.
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There are two types of desperation that you will face in your life. The first kind of desperation is to feed your own insecurities. This is when you throw yourself at the first guy that pays attention to you because you think he’s all you’ll ever get. This kind of desperation is a lack of faith that will cause you to justify your reasoning and make decisions that can affect you for the rest of your life: from friendships, finances, marriage, kids, and most importantly… your relationship with Christ. This kind of desperation will cause you to give up your dreams and the calling God has placed on your life. You will think it won’t, but it will.
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When a small, scrappy nonprofit throws an event for 300+ people, things are bound to get a little bananas. In the weeks leading up to the event, our small team was feeling the pressure. Not only was I trying to develop all of the visuals for the evening, but I was also trying to wrap up my own programming with local kiddos. And plan a movie premiere. And make sure that our newly acquired event planner had all of her ducks in a row. And make sure that all of our email campaigns went out in a timely manner. And edit videos to embed in the email campaigns. And sleep. And eat. And just, in general, take care of myself. The day after the event, I went hiking.
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Ever since I was a teenager, I remember reaching into my pocket for my phone whenever I had a crisis. I’d quickly dial my parents and vent about the most recent school happening. Today, I still rely on others to listen and provide feedback on a how stressful work or a relational issue has been. In addition to my parents, my network has now grown to include more friends, coworkers and a fiancé for their opinion; I’m even in a group chat titled “The Counsel.” Big or small, I’ve been guilty of running to other people for help and encouragement instead of seeking God first. While there is a place for godly counsel and accountability, our refuge should not be in others.
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