Waiting for Tuesday
I used to be really afraid to tell this story. My Tuesday story. It felt embarrassing and awkward to tell the world that I audibly heard from God a message that He has not yet brought to fruition. But now, I'm learning to use it as a reminder of the God who loves me.
So, what is my Tuesday story? It all started back in college when all my friends started to get boyfriends. I was feeling lonely and disappointed, so I cried out to God, "When will it be my turn?" That's when I heard it: Tuesday. God told me, in a voice so audible I thought my sister was playing a prank on me, that I would fall in love on a Tuesday.
A few weeks went by with no Tuesday Love, until summer came to an end and I went back to school for the fall semester. On the first day back, a Tuesday, I was reintroduced to an acquaintance and knew that this must be it. This is where my Tuesday love story would start.
Unfortunately, this love story ended about a year later. I was crushed and confused. It was so clear in my head that we were supposed to be together. Didn't God tell me that we would be together?
That was five years ago, and I haven't found another Tuesday Love since then. Each Tuesday that goes by, I find myself wondering if this would be the Tuesday. The one God REALLY meant when He said "Tuesday" that night.
But I'm learning that maybe it's all right if He didn't mean that. Maybe He wanted me to know that I would fall in love that first day of fall semester. And that was all.
Maybe I made Tuesday up in my head.
Or maybe, on a distant Tuesday from now, I will meet the man I end up marrying.
And maybe, in all of it, God is trying to show me His infinite love for me. That, as Psalm 139:16 says, "all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be."
"Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away." -Matthew 24:35
He knows every day that I will live. He has seen every Tuesday of my past, and knows every Tuesday in my future. And He is holding on to every day in between. He is in control of my future, and I can safely place my life into His hands. The God who willingly gave His Son to die for me has His hands outstretched, asking that I lay down my burden of wanting to know the future, and rest in Him. Rest in the God that knows when each sparrow falls to the ground, and, as Jesus said, "you are worth more than many sparrows" (Matthew 10:31).
Knowing that God is in charge of my future, I can freely live each day without worrying about what will happen. Without worrying if next Tuesday will be the Tuesday; without fear of not having control over my life.
"God is not man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?" -Numbers 23:19
God doesn't ask us to live calculated, planned lives. He asks us to step out in the faith that He will take care of us if we live lives that bring glorify Him. Whether that means knowing which day we will meet someone, or not, we can trust that He knows. He is holding us in His loving hands and as we fall deeper in love with Him and step out in faith, the desire to know what will happen fades.
"So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it." -Isaiah 55:11
Maybe you have a Tuesday story. A time when God revealed something to you that has not come true. And maybe, like me, you began to feel disappointed that He was not coming through with the plan. But, maybe He has something bigger; a plan to draw you deeper into His love for you as you wait on Him. Whatever the reason, live for today... live for Him.