Love Is Patient
What is love and how do we know if it is lasting? I have asked myself this question for years. It has been present in the back of my mind starting with my broken family when I was a teenager and continuing through my many broken relationships and deaths of family members and friends over the years.
However, in the past decade of my walk with the Lord, I have been able to read, see, and feel what love is by looking at 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV.
It isn’t just some reading that is popular at weddings and it isn’t just some nice sounding script that looks good on a Pinterest plaque. It is a description of who God is while also being a guidebook for how to love.
I do not think that it is a coincidence that being patient is the first thing mentioned in this popular passage of scripture. The first thing that pops into my mind when I think of being patient is something that is fairly common. It is the question most kids ask on a road trip and the question most parents dread, “Are we there yet?”
As a child, I waited patiently until asking the question again and again. It felt like an eternity before I found the words rushing out my mouth, inpatient to be where I wanted to be. For my parents, they had to exhibit patience by not yelling “Almost!” at me in a tone of voice indicative of the frustration they were feeling.
Patience is one of the hardest characteristics of love to not only show, but do.
It is so much more than simply waiting. Patience, being listed first, is a challenge, a reminder, and practical wisdom all combined.
When looking back in scriptures, we see where God exemplifies all these aspects of love time and time again. I mean, hello, can anyone say Israelites in the desert? That is one prime example but there are so many more.
When God was asking people in the Bible to be patient, he was challenging them to trust him, reminding them of all the times he provided for them, and helped them see how exhibiting patience made their lives more fulfilling.
Being patient is indeed challenging. Until eternity, we live in a fallen world. Our definitions and perceptions of patience can easily be altered based on societal norms and not God’s Word. We are not called to view God’s Word through our societal lens but instead through knowledge of Christ’s sacrifice. We think that if we do not tap our foot while in a line at the grocery store taking too long, we should be nominated for sainthood. We think that not yelling at someone else when they are clearly wrong or getting on our nerves makes us worthy of a lifetime achievement award.
Yet, patience is so much more than these examples. Patience isn’t only found in our actions, it is found in our heart, mind, and soul.
“The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him; to the one who seeks him.”-Lamentations 3:25 NIV
In Lamentations 3, Jeremiah refers to his own experiences dealing with afflictions and uses these to remind the people of Israel to be patient for their time of restoration and to trust in the Lord. Lamentations 3 reminds us of the work that God has done before and is now doing in our own hearts. We are challenged to seek him. We are challenged to put our hope in him. We are challenged to trust him and his goodness, knowing that his timing is perfect.
Being patient, as stated in 1 Corinthians, is also a reminder.
In the Old Testament, the Israelites had to be reminded time and time again to be patient and wait for the work of the Lord. They had to be reminded of his love, mercy, goodness, and power.
I recently had an incident where God convicted me to be more patient. Keeping this story short, I was frustrated with my husband.
I was stewing in bed, coming up with things to say to him. I was mentally listing all the reasons I was mad and justifying my emotions when I heard the voice of God talking to my heart saying, “What kind of patience have I shown you and what kind of patience will I continue to show you?” I mean, ouch! Talk about instant conviction!
Of course, I am like the Israelites and needed reminding so I asked God to give me specific examples of when he was patient with me and the only answer I received was the word “always”.
God has always been forgiving and patient and will always continue to be patient with me and those who call him Lord.
God has patience with us because he always knows what we need before we do. Not sometimes but always. He knows what obstacles are against us. He knows what trials, tribulations, and sufferings are in our paths.
“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.” - Psalm 37:7 NIV
Not only are we called to hope in the Lord, we are called to trust his knowledge and power. We are supposed to be still.
Being still is not easy when we are so used to getting what we want quickly or when we see wicked people prosper. Yet, it is in stillness that we can hear his voice and see the paths he is clearing for us.
Being patient, as stated in 1 Corinthians 13, is also practical wisdom. It is wisdom that will make our lives easier and more fulfilling.
I was chatting with a friend the other day and we were discussing how Christians can either be a light to the world or a jar that extinguished the light.
What we say to people, the love and patience we give them, are a reflection of God and what he has done for us.
We can argue with people about society and politics.
We can debate whether Jesus was a societal judge or a rebel. We can disparage others for being legalistic, conservative or liberal.
Yet, none of these choices truly show God. They show God in light of today’s standards but don’t consider God in his eternal entirety.
We need to be patient for God’s wisdom. Only his wisdom can help us navigate the rough waters of today with love and mercy while dealing with all the questions and opinions that are thrown our way.
“Hot tempers cause arguments, but patience brings peace.”- Proverbs 15:18 NIV
When we focus more on “being right” or how we perceive people, we tend to focus less on how we need to be perceived, as beings loved by an eternal God. When we are so quick to tell others how they are wrong, we forget about God’s patience with us and all the times we have been wrong or have wronged others.
“Let your gentle spirit [reasonableness, forbearance, patience, tolerance] be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation], by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your requests known to God.”-Philippians 4:5-6 NIV (Parentheses mine)
Wisdom doesn’t get more practical than this verse. Here are clear instructions for how to live a life of patience.
Our patience is to be obvious to all.
We are to come to God with everything, not something, not every other thing but everything! We can show patience because God has shown it to us. We can rest knowing God is near and listens to us.
1 Corinthians 13:4,7-8 is a passage of scripture that can be read and reflected on during any stage of your life. It speaks to the heart and helps you to see some of the characteristics of God, including his infinite patience with us. Living life being patient with others is indeed challenging but God’s Word will always guide us in how to live a life with practical wisdom.
Thankfully, through the Word, we can always be reminded of His love and patience with people in the Bible, trusting that he is the same with us.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Andrea Buie grew up as a South Carolina girl who currently lives in Georgia but her heart is in Colorado. She lived in CO for 5 years and was able to work for a Christian worldview organization called Summit Ministries. Her marriage is an example of how it's great to wait for God's perfect timing. She didn't get married until she was 40 and has never regretted the wait since her husband is perfect for her. Together, they have a furbaby named Maya and they love to take her on walks at the park near their home in Atlanta.