While we don't merit salvation by our works, Christianity is a religion. To be sure, it's more than a religion but it's not less. We are held accountable to obey God, because Christ bought us at the price of His blood. We are not our own.
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The bottom line is that we must learn to take responsibility for the health of our own soul and learn to rest in Him. Cease wrestling and striving. One aspect of this is to recognize that I am not responsible for the management of others’ perceptions of me.
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