Song of Solomon and the Single Woman
...who exchanged the truth of God for the lie... -Romans 1:25
Lies have been around since Adam and Eve, the greatest one about God and His goodness. As a 30-something single, my heart has been so burdened by the lies the enemy whispers into our ears when we're feeling lonely, when we're afraid that we'll never get married, and we wonder if God really hears our prayers.
Many daughters of God wonder why He hasn’t brought us to our husbands. Waiting can lead to wandering – in our hearts and with our bodies. I’ve heard too many stories of women who became involved with relationships that brought them heartache and condemnation, instead of communion. When we decide to take our love lives into our own hands and compromise ourselves to be with a man, we’re showing God that we don’t trust His plan for our lives.
God cares about all the aspects of our lives. Many times we focus on our spiritual walk, what we should or shouldn’t be doing, and try to ignore the part He created for us to enjoy within the boundaries of marriage.
God has so much to say on the issue of sex and one book in the Bible specifically shows the goodness of this incredible gift He gave to those who get married.
So, what does the Song of Solomon have to do with singles?
Warning: Song of Solomon is not intended for those who are babes in Christ, so if you have just started your relationship with the Lord, I advise you to spend time with the Gospels.
But if you are mature and single, I pray you'll see what we can learn from this book specifically placed in the Bible by the Holy Spirit. I believe the Holy Spirit made this book available to all of God’s children, singles included, so that we can learn to combat the lies of the enemy when it comes to our desires for love, marriage, and sex.
A Better Love
For your love is better than wine... (1:2 )
The Shulamite is a woman in love. And it's not just any man she's in love with, but a man whose name is like fragrant ointment poured forth. There's a headiness when we first fall in love. Everything is brighter and the world is filled with so many possibilities. Wasn't that how you felt when you first came to Christ?
The Maker of Heaven and earth called you by name and you became His. Past sins were forgiven and you could hold your head up high. You learned about His character and the plans that He has for you. It was such an exciting time!
Then the months and years started to roll by. You got involved in ministry, entered into relationships only to find they wouldn't be your happily ever after, and the thrill of your romance with God faded away.
We have a better love that can't be found in the pages of any fictional book. Not only is God's love better but we can also learn from the Shulamite woman to wait for a man whose name is synonymous with integrity and respect.
Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away. (2:10)
What a sweet invitation to come away with the man she loves. My love language is quality time and such an invitation would be like music to my ears.
We receive that offer daily through the gentle tugging of the Holy Spirit to spend time in God's presence; to have that quality time with the Lover of our souls and be refreshed after the winter and the rains of our every day lives.
But like the little foxes in the vineyard (a place that is supposed to be ripe with fruit in the springtime), there are things that hinder us from spending time with Him. It's there that we hear His voice more clearly, where the fears of this world melt away in the warmth of His embrace, and where our hearts are united with His in worship.
It's there that we can be honest with our every desire because He's placed them inside of us. Too many times, we hide them for fear of embarrassment. Our desires for marriage and sex have become tucked away in the deep recesses of our hearts and erotica/pornography became the outlet many women use to feel wanted, desired, and known.
Life is hard. Singleness is hard. But when we come away with our Beloved, we give every burden to Him and find our rest.
Don't Stir Love Up
Do not stir up love nor awaken it until it pleases. (3:5)
The waiting is hard, isn't it? The not knowing what God's plans are can be difficult and scary, so much so that the more time passes, the more we're convinced He's forgotten about us. So, what's a girl to do?
If you're like me, you want to give God a helping hand. You know your type and there's someone at church/work/school that would be "perfect." But is it really God's will or timing?
I found myself doing that very thing when I fell for a man who I thought could love me the way I always wanted. I even prayed that God would turn his attention toward me only to realize God was trying to spare me. It was a hard lesson to learn.
God loves you so much that He doesn't want you mistaking fool's gold for the real thing. He is not a god of the counterfeit; He wants to give you the real deal. Love is amazing - after all, why would there be so many songs, books, or movies about it? But over the years, the enemy's lies about relationships have found their way into the mainstream and have wrapped up the dangers and deception we are prone to fall in within the covers of a book or the hours spent watching a movie.
God's plan for love and sexuality within marriage is a beautiful one and it's certainly worth the wait if He promises to bless it.