My Giving Era
The best writing comes from the heart
What is in my heart?
My heart is full but longing for that one man. That guy God has in His back pocket to surprise me with. For most of my life, I thought I needed a man to complete me. That mentality is silly; no earthly man can come close to completing us.
I wrote an article that debuted on Tirzah five years ago titled, ‘What Roses Taught Me About Guarding My Heart.’ That article talked about a heart disappointment I got in the form of “just friends”. My goal in life through my teens and early twenties, was to find someone to share my life with. I have a different goal now and I am looking for some one to compliment me, only Jesus can complete me!
In five years, I have dated two different guys, but somehow I am writing this as a single woman. My first relationship lasted for three months; he was a fantastic first boyfriend! But I entered that relationship for the wrong reasons. I was tired of being alone, and when he asked me on my FIRST date EVER, I jumped on that opportunity. Hindsight being 20/20, I should not have gotten in that relationship, not because it was bad, but I was not ready yet.
God has a season for everything.
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 NIV
When I got in that relationship, it was not time for me to be with someone. I still needed some time to do some growing on my own. Singleness is a time to focus on you and your relationship with God and have some fun. Singleness is fun!! I have been single longer than I have been with any man and it is enjoyable. It’s better to be single than in a relationship and wish you were by yourself.
I desire to get married one day and I have to believe that holy event is on God’s divine calendar. It says in the first verse of Ecclesiastes 3:
“There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens”Ecclesiastes 3:1
If you are like me and have a desire to get married, you need to believe that date is already written in your book (Psalm 139:16) He knows the right time for us, and we need to believe that His timing is the BEST timing. I know the waiting is hard, but I believe it’ll be worth it.
For years I tried to force a relationship and I have learned that you cannot make a guy like you; even if you like them.
“a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,” -
Ecclesiastes 3:4 NIV
Singleness is fun, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes you are just lonely. Lonely for someone you haven’t met yet. The first of this year, I felt incredibly lonely. I was lonely for the things I had in my grasp but seemed to still be out of reach. I desire to get married and going from dating back to being single is hard. We were not created to go backward, and it feels like I’m starting over. However, sometimes it is necessary to step back for God to take you to His best.
“a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away.”
Ecclesiastes 3:6 NIV
In my teens and twenties my view of love and romance was twisted. I was hunting out the man and it really should be the opposite. Men are hunters and want to do the pursuing. I would like to publicly profess I am in my giving up era. God knows the man who will work best with my personality, and it is in His hands. This is my ‘giving up era’.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. for everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks the door will be opened to you. Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
Matthew 7:7-11 NIV
It says that God gives good gifts and marriage is good. This is the start of my giving up era. The men can come pursue me!!