Why It Is Okay To Struggle To Understand the Bible
When going through hard times, you often get a whole lot of advice on what to do, but few examples of modeling that advice. It’s like slapping on a band-aid when surgery is needed.
Approximately ten years ago, I went through an emotionally and spiritually dark place and of course, received lots of well-meaning, but ultimately unhelpful, advice like: Pray more. Read your Bible more. Go on a trip to relax. You just don’t trust God (that last one isn’t really advice).
It’s not wrong to encourage one another to read the Bible and pray. In fact, it’s our duty to keep brothers and sisters in Christ accountable to the faith we proclaim. However, because those people weren’t willing to walk in the dark with me, none of us got to experience the blessing of a community of faith, and “mourning with those who mourn.”
During that time, this is a verse that was quoted at me a lot:
“Don’t worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.” -Philippians 4:6
I was a young Christian and dutiful to follow the Christian checklist exactly. I glued my eyes to the page. I read this verse with all my might and slowly, so that I would not miss one single word of it. But however hard I tried to read and get it in my head, I could not seem to understand it with my heart.
I was reading this verse in a very limited and inward-seeking, and therefore, fruitless way. A step-by-step Ikea instruction manual kind of way.
Don’t worry - Ok I’m concentrating...Check
Pray about everything - Doing that... Check
Tell God what you need - Double Check! He’s been listening to me all day
Then I came to the very end of the passage: “and thank Him for all He has done.” I often ignored this part. I reasoned with myself that this part couldn’t be done until my circumstances were different. For some reason, I was expecting God to answer my prayer before I was able to thank Him for it.
I don’t think I’m the only one who sometimes treats her relationship with God this way. How could I blame anyone for thinking this way? After all, this is exactly how the world around us operates. You don’t send a thank you note before you receive a gift, right?
It turns out that the god I was praying to and the true God in heaven were totally different. The god I designed in my head was not the one described in the pages of Scripture. My small god was a stubborn one who had to be poked and prodded several times before he would even think about turning his attention to me and my problems. He was busy enough already. With this type of god you need to negotiate and secure a guarantee.
It was this false belief that, in turn, had put a false twist on Scripture for me. I may as well have been reading an instruction manual.
Today, I am more mature in my spiritual life, though I have not yet arrived, and I read that verse now through the lens of experience of God's goodness. That last part that I previously ignored now stands out to be in heavenly neon yellow ink: “and thank Him for all He has done.”
What I considered a throw-away line ten years ago, I now realize is the most important part of that verse and should not be considered separately from the rest of the passage. We are to pray and give our worries over to Him with all that He has already done in mind. We are to consider all the worries and weight in the world through the lens of a correct understanding of God’s goodness. Not only for this small verse, but for every single word of the Bible.
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. -Deuteronomy 6:5
This is a wonderful discovery of the living Word and why it is okay to not get it at first. This verse perplexed me ten years ago but has now blossomed into great joy and peace in my heart. It’s not necessarily that I was failing, but God wanted to teach me other things first.
What part of God’s Word has you confused? Try bringing it before Him in prayer and ask what He would have you understand about Himself at this time.
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. -James 1:5
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Molly Gonzalez is a full time working wife and mama living in Ojai, CA. She is passionate about the Word of God and discipleship. She especially loves to write about practical scripture application and finds the most joy when just sitting with a friend and a pot a coffee. Her writings can be found at mollylgonzalez.com.