Love Is Not Easily Angered
Looking back, I am amazed at the patience my parents had with me and my siblings. I know that my parents loved us, even when they got angry; however, I also know there were instances when they had reason to be more angry than they showed us. I also know that when they said, “you're trying my patience”, it meant that they were already mad and that the wisest course of action would be to step back from what I was doing or saying.
Even though my parents were believers, they were only human, and there were days when they were tired or stressed, and on those days, they were easily angered. Trust me, many times we deserved their frustration and anger. We could be a handful, my sister, brother, and I. Yet, even in their anger, they showed patience to us because they wanted us to do better. They punished us when it was necessary and when we were intentionally wrong in our actions and behavior.
In all relationships, it can be easy to look for reasons to be mad. No relationship shows this better than marriage. It can be easy to take something simple like not putting clothes in the laundry hamper or watching a show without you and turn it into a reason to be even more angry. You can look for examples to prove your anger is justified. You can tell yourself that it is a sign of a bigger problem that needs to be corrected. In times like these, it is crucial to first look into your own heart, to look to God and remember that he is not easily angered. You can ask God to change your heart, and in your faith and his righteousness, he will do that and make it possible for your heart to be less inclined to anger and more inclined to love.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 tells us,
“[...] Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
Lately, there has been a movement within the body of Christ where believers only focus on God's love, mercy, and kindness. We are told that he wants to give us everything we ask for. We are told that some forms of sinfulness are allowed, being outdated and not in line with current worldviews. From pulpits to conversations with other believers, the anger and righteousness of God is either forgotten or not talked about. The fact is that God does get angry. Yet, in every example in the Bible when his anger is seen, it is always with righteousness and patience.
God is not easily angered, but it is also important to understand that he is a righteous judge of all. God’s righteousness comes from his understanding of the bigger picture and what is actually important, what we actually need. When God shows his anger to his children, it is to guide them into salvation and repentance.
God does not automatically punish sin, even though we deserve it. His patience is seen when he gives us, his children, opportunities to turn from sin and trust him. He seeks to change our hearts first and lead us into repentance before showing us his anger and the consequences of our sinfulness.
In the Old Testament, there are numerous examples of sinfulness by God’s people, yet God was not automatically seeking a reason to be angry with them. He did not disperse his judgment every time there was sinfulness and disobedience; but instead, showed patience and held off on his anger. Every time we see God's anger in the Bible shown to the Isrelites, it is because of their disobedience, but his anger and punishments are also a way to discipline them and “make their paths straight” (Proverbs 3:6). He wanted them to love him. He desired a relationship with them. God wanted to provide for them. He wanted to show them his righteousness.
In Deuteronomy 28:14-15 God warns the Israelites in advance what will happen if they turn from God and walk in disobedience. It says,
“Do not turn aside from any of the commandments I give you today, to the right or to the left, following other Gods and serving them. However, if you do not obey the Lord your God and do not carefully follow all these commands and decrees I am giving you today, all these curses will come on you and overtake you.”
Following verse 15 is a very long list of the curses that will happen if the Israelites turn from God and disobey him. God clearly states that there will be consequences for their actions. What I love about Deuteronomy 28 is that in verses 1 - 14 God also states what blessings he will bestow on them if they love God and follow his commands.
God never leaves us alone to guess what he may want and expects from us, never!
He never gets angry without first letting us know his expectations and what the consequences will be when we do not follow him or his commandments.
God's love does not look for reasons to be angry with us. He doesn’t sit on his holy throne and harbor ill feelings towards us based on past mistakes and sins. He doesn't intentionally look for reasons to punish us. He is just in all his ways, whether that is seen through discipline or grace. God’s love is patient and he forgives us when we ask and come to him with contrite hearts (Psalm 51:17). He sees our sinfulness and rebellion but does not show his anger every time, instead, he shows us his love, his deep and all-encompassing love.
There are some questions we may need to stop and ask about our anger. Questions like am I looking for a reason to be mad? What does my anger look like to others and how does it affect them? Do I first communicate my expectations to others before showing anger? Do I seek to build stronger relationships without anger? Do I show patience when others make me angry? Do I first look to God and his example of forgiveness before showing my anger?
When we stop to ask these questions, we are ultimately asking if we seek God and his characteristics of love first. When 1 Corinthians tells us that love is not easily angered, it means that love does not look for reasons to be angry. We can look in the Word of God and allow the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts to better understand our anger from an eternal perspective. When we know the forgiveness and patience God has with us, it becomes more difficult to be angry and easier to show that same love, forgiveness and patience to others.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Andrea Buie grew up as a South Carolina girl who currently lives in Georgia but her heart is in Colorado. She lived in CO for 5 years and was able to work for a Christian worldview organization called Summit Ministries. Her marriage is an example of how it's great to wait for God's perfect timing. She didn't get married until she was 40 and has never regretted the wait since her husband is perfect for her. Together, they have a furbaby named Maya and they love to take her on walks at the park near their home in Atlanta.