Letting Go Of Perfection
Last week I started a new job. As crazy as it might sound now given how the past few months have been, back in January I talked with my boss to let her know that I would be resigning in May because I wanted to switch careers. It was nerve-wracking to be voluntarily searching for a job during a period when so many other people were just focusing on trying to keep their current jobs.
I managed to get hired for a job in the new field that I was trying to enter. I accepted a part-time in order to begin some experience while giving myself time to recover from the stress of my previous job. In my head, I also thought that spending fewer hours at work would give me time to start restoring the balance in some of the areas that I had been neglecting in the past.
During the first week of this new position, I made almost all of the breakfasts, lunches, and dinners for my husband and myself; I washed our sheets (I’d like to pretend that this happens every week, but it does not); I went on walks to get more exercise, sat on the porch to read my Bible in the mornings when it wasn’t raining, and even spent an afternoon writing. Had I been at my previous job, I probably would only have done one or two of those things.
However, the list of things that I didn’t finish doing is equally long. I washed clothes but never put them away. Even though I walked more, I never made it to 10,000 steps. I only finished writing one of the three articles that I had planned to write that week. I just didn’t take out the recycling so now I have to figure out what to do with it until next month, and one morning it got too hot to read my Bible outside so I read in my bed and proceeded to fall asleep.
I do think that once I get used to my new job that I will actually be able to do more of the things that I want to do outside of work, but that first week left me wondering what is going to happen one day when I am working full-time again and hopefully have children as well.
How am I supposed to be able to do it all then when I can barely do half of it all now?
I know that the idea of “doing it all” is impossible, but that doesn’t make me want to be that woman any less.
I used to be both fascinated and terrified of the woman described in Proverbs 31. The one who is “energetic and strong, a hard worker” and whose “lamp burns late into the night” (Proverbs 31:17-18). I feel tired already just thinking about trying to be her.
After more study throughout the years, I’ve learned that the woman described here is more of an inspiration, not an actual model to imitate exactly. While it is hard to give up the idea that I should be able to do it all with perfection. There continues to be a huge gap between the person that I want to be and the person that I actually am.
My first instinct is to hide my imperfections and failings as deeply as I can. Sometimes my flaws are readily apparent for everyone to see, and I really dislike feeling that exposed. On some occasions, I am able to hide my imperfections surprisingly well. I’m sure that most of us would prefer being able to give off the illusion of being flawless as often as possible.
However, no matter how well I am able to make things temporarily appear to others, God is very much aware of the truth about who I am. He knows that even though I can publicly admit that I forgot to take out the recycling, that’s not anywhere near the worst of my failings. But, despite knowing everything that there is to know about me, God doesn’t see me as a composite of all of the things I did not complete, of all of my flaws.
“Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.” (Romans 5:2, NLT).
God knew that there was no way that we would ever be able to do enough to deserve our salvation, so he went ahead and provided it for us through our faith.
I worry that I’m not “enough” in both frivolous and serious matters. And when it comes down to it, it’s absolutely true that I am not “enough,” but that doesn’t matter to God. Because of my faith, I can belong to His Kingdom as the person that I currently am. I don’t have to wait until some mythical day in the future when I am better at everything.
Throughout the Bible, we see examples of imperfect people. Even though King David was chosen by God to lead his people, David made his fair share of bad decisions. In 2 Samuel 11, we can read how David first makes another man’s wife pregnant and then, arranges for that man to be killed when David is unable to make it appear that the child born could have been that man’s son.
At first glance, it would seem like there would be no recovering from that kind of sin. David does have to deal with the consequences of his actions, but God does not abandon David because David confessed his sin and asked for forgiveness.
Even though we try to do our best, we will always fall short. We are called to “imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children” (Ephesians 5:1, NLT), and it is important that we give our best effort to living like Christ. but to expect Godly perfection from ourselves in every area of our lives isn’t realistic.
When we fall short in simple things, like not having a perfectly clean house at every moment, it really isn’t all that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. And, when we fall short in our character or our actions, we can ask God for forgiveness and pray that He helps us change our ways.
We should always be working towards becoming more like Christ. At the same time, we need to recognize that as humans we will never be able to achieve that level of perfection, and we shouldn’t allow that realization to make us give up.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Elizabeth is an educator at heart. So far this has taken the form of a camp counselor, a museum assistant, and currently a middle school teacher. She loves to watch people grow and learn. You can read more of her writing at her blog Chronicles of a Southern Belle