Guarding Your Heart {Romance}


I seem to be addicted to Taylor Swift’s song “Blank Space,”*** I can’t help but want to throw a little dance party every time it comes on the radio. I was singing to it for the millionth time the other day when the words started to truly register in my mind. I began to think about the foolish things we allow to penetrate our hearts and minds. A person’s heart is one of the most sacred things: it contains her desires, deepest secrets, and emotions. Everything we do is linked to that very important organ in our body.

So, how can we -- as godly women -- guard our hearts in a world where love is treated like a game?

“Guard your heart for from it flow the springs of life.” – Proverbs 4:23

Girls, I know how easy it is to desire a relationship with a guy. We all want the affection and someone to call us beautiful. But, what many consider love today is a dangerous game. It’s like we throw our heart into a battlefield, yet expect it to not get wounded. God blessed us with precious hearts, and we assume that they're invincible.

A very wise woman once explained it to me like this: imagine your heart is an apple. Each time you get involved with a guy, you give him a bite of that apple. So, what will you have left to give to your husband after so many failed relationships? Just the core or the seeds? Because every time you start talking with a guy and your heart gets a bit more attached to his, you give him a part of your heart that you can never get back.

I want you to stop and just let that sink in for a moment. This simple metaphor describes how valuable your heart really is.

“For where your treasure is, there also your heart will be.” – Matthew 6:21

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - JULY 13:  Taylor Swift brought her RED tour back to the New York market, playing a sold out show to more than 55,000 fans at MetLife Stadium on July 13, 2013 in East Rutherford, New Jersey.  (Photo by Larry Busacca/TAS/Getty Images for TAS)I'll be honest with you. The only relationship I have ever been in was when I was eleven. I was in sixth grade and extremely excited when someone asked me to be their girlfriend: but sadly our very special love story only lasted a day. As you might have guessed I do not have the best expertise when it comes to relationships but that does not mean I have not seen the brutal damage a failed relationship can cause. I’ve seen a number of my girls friends go from guy to guy, leaving a trail of pieces of their hearts along the way. The baggage and scars left behind never go away; instead they seem to carry over into other relationships. It’s like an annoying bee you keep swatting away but it just will no leave you alone.

"Don't ever miss out a woman with a guarded heart. She's usually protecting the deepest most caring soul you'll ever know." -Sylvester McNutt

The question still remains though: how do we protect our hearts? I wish I could say it was going to be easy, but sadly it is not. The first thing you can do is ask God to give you the patience to wait on His timing. I’ve struggled with this many times, but in the end, God has saved me from many heartaches by telling me to stop and be patient.

In addition, create boundaries that will help to protect your heart. For example, I try to never lose my focus for a guy I might like, even though it can be hard. So find what convicts you. Maybe its not being alone with a guy, or no late night phone calls/texts.

Surround yourself with godly women who you can confide in and who are willing to gift you with their advice (you have the Tirzah community - we're just an email away!). Pray and dive into the Word before pursuing a relationship -- seek God and His kingdom first and foremost, and everything else will unfold under His guiding hand. Be careful about revealing your most personal details, hopes and dreams with guys. Take it slow and put God at the center of any friendships, so that if you do end up getting married, that strong spiritual foundation is there from the beginning.

Lastly, and most importantly, understand that your heart is a wonderful treasure that should not be taken lightly. It is worth more than even the most precious of diamonds. Keep it safe, till God presents you with the right man who deserves to have it.

How do you guard your heart from flirty exchanges with guys? We'd love to hear your tips and   advice in the comments below!

// photo via getty/the huffington post

***Editor's Note: This article is no way meant to attack Taylor Swift or her music; instead it is only used as an illustration that the music available today illustrates love and romance as something very sexual and game-like, which is in stark contrast to what Biblical love looks like. Most artists and songs today would have also worked as an example, but Taylor has become a role model for many young women who listen to her songs often and diligently. But, sometimes, even if we know a song is just irony or "entertainment," as we've written before, what you listen to, especially loves songs, has a powerful impact on you.