My Need for God: Cultivating a Deep Relationship with Christ
Guest Author: Allie Howard
Friends, I thought I had my life all figured out. I thought graduate school and good grades in college was all I needed. For four years, that was my goal - that was my mission and nothing was going to get in my way of accomplishing this. My identity was in grades (i.e., intelligence, hard work and man’s praise) and money (i.e., providing for myself in the future and materialism). Even though people in my life at the time encouraged me to take this path and have this mindset, I knew this wasn't a Biblical approach. I knew that my identity was in Christ and in His grace alone (2 Corinthians 5:17, Ephesians 1:5, John 1:12-13).
During my college years, I understood that my worth was not connected to what I could do for Christ but rather that I was a child of the Most High God (John 1:12-13, Ephesians 1:5). The problem was that I began to idolize grades and money to the point where I didn’t read God’s Word everyday, and I didn’t prioritize my relationship with Christ. I went to church almost every Sunday morning, and I even attended my church small group/Bible study each week. I did all these “good” things and still, I was not close to my Heavenly Father. During this time, I also idolized friends and popularity and really, just staying busy (i.e., always having a jam-packed agenda). This was another stumbling block for me and this idolatry pushed me even further away from Christ. Because of my restless heart, I missed God’s voice, guidance and direction for my life (Psalm 119:105, John 15:4, 1 Chronicles 16:11). I let my own desires (i.e., “good” desires/things/goals) carry me away from Christ, and ultimately, this mistake put me on the wrong path.
Right before graduation, I got accepted into the graduate program I wanted, but I had completely lost sight of my Jesus in the process. One of the saddest parts of my story is that during my college years, I chose to put my desires above God’s will for my life, and as a result, I became very self-centered, prideful and worldly. Because I steered away from the Truth of God’s Word, I began to believe lots of pernicious lies. One of the biggest lies I started to believe was that being an “independent” or “self-sufficient” woman would lead to success in life and that God created me to be successful. I had forgotten that the Bible never guarantees that Christians will be successful in life. In fact, the Bible states that, “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows” (New Living Translation - John 16:33). Additionally, the Bible also states, “Since they persecuted Me, naturally they will persecute you” (New Living Translation - John 15:20). In this verse, Jesus is talking, and He is saying that since the world persecuted Him, they will also persecute those who follow Him. These two verses show that the Christian life is not an easy one that will always be filled with success, money, lots of friends, praise and high positions.
In conclusion, during my college years, I let the world and my desires influence and direct my decisions. In the long run, it came with a great cost. Looking back, I think I wasted a lot of precious time, energy and resources because I didn’t consider God’s opinion and didn’t take time to serve and love others (Matthew 7:21-23, James 1:27, Romans 12:10, Philippians 2:3-8). In 1 Corinthians, Paul writes, “If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal” (New Living Translation - 1 Corinthians 13:1). In other words, Paul is saying that Christ wants His children to love other people rather than use their gifts/abilities to only benefit themselves. Friend, do you want to glorify God with your actions and accomplish His purposes for your life? Do you want to have a Spirit-filled and truly meaningful life? Do you want to emulate Christ? If so, then take time every day to read God’s Word and cultivate your relationship with Christ. This process takes discipline, time, hard work and a lot of patience. If this is a new concept to you and sounds overwhelming and scary, I recommend starting off by making small, manageable, realistic goals. In other words, take five minutes a day to read and meditate on God’s Word and then pray. Even if you only have five or ten minutes of free time each day, give those minutes to God, and watch and see what He will do with that. Remember friend, Jesus says, “Humble yourselves before the Lord [Him], and He will lift you up in honor” (New Living Translation - James 4:10). Lastly, I want to remind you that “good” goals/tasks do not always equate to God’s will. The Bible states, “Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that He has promised” (New Living Translation - Hebrews 10:36). In whatever season of life you are in, make sure you are very close to Jesus and that you are making room in your calendar to hear His voice on a daily basis.
About the Author:
My name is Allie and I am twenty-seven years old. I am from Knoxville, Tennessee, and currently, I still live in Knoxville, Tennessee (GO VOLS!). I graduated from Lee University in 2020, and since then, I have spent most of my time in the workforce. One of my professional goals right now is to start my own business, and I enjoy making watercolor paintings and designs! In my spare time, I also work on my calligraphy skills with fun pens and markers. Additionally, I like to travel and spend time in local coffee shops (pumpkin spice lattes are my favorite!).