Building Bridges & Burning Ships: Part 5
“Moreover, look for able men from all the people, men who fear God, who are trustworthy and hate a bribe, and place such men over the people as chiefs of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties, and of tens.” - Exodus 18:21 ESV
Last time we talked about burning ships and building bridges. We touched on my choice to not be in church leadership as a female.
I want to tell you about a conversation that I had with an elder’s wife last week on the day that article came out.
As I was explaining she talked about the freedom she had because she burned the ship (let go of an idea) of assuming her voice would be heard only if she was in charge. Her quote was:
“Because of my husband’s leadership and the responsibility of the men in leadership, I am able to use my voice - because I am heard by Godly men. It also frees me of the weight of the final decisions.”
This article is about the decisions we make in the world for leaders. The assumptions that we make because of race, gender, or other details. If there is one thing I have learned in leadership, it is to find people with a heart for the job.
It does not matter about the other things as long as someone is teachable and has a good heart. This led me to re-evaluate when I got to help start a company from the ground up.
One of my dreams I had was to be executive director of a pregnancy center, so I could create a new way of helping with unplanned pregnancies.
Throughout my 10 years working in the Pro - Life movement, I began to see a vast difference in ways of helping people. The government had a strict curriculum that did seem to garner people to want their services - but to get ensnared by welfare. Pregnancy centers had started with the basis of evangelism and changing people’s minds - they are now learning that people respond better with love first (hence the free diapers, free wipes, meals delivered, and gifts that many pregnancy centers give).
But can I tell you the most effective way I saw women’s lives changed?
Women changed when young men stood in the gap and built a bridge (found common ground) with these single mothers who found themselves struggling alone.
I remember growing up how many single mothers were in my family’s life. At one point, we had a single mom and her kids living in our house. I can still tell you their names. They would call my dad and he would come running to help. What is funny was I never saw an accusation against him or anything less than gratitude. It doesn’t mean the women were always perfectly appropriate or didn’t have alternative motives, but he continued to help and kept up a safeguard by bringing other people along. I saw more young women grow healthy in their thoughts towards men and let down their walls.
In my own life, the times I grew in confidence was when a young male pastor encouraged me and offered me guidance in my professional career. It was not just him, but some amazing pastor’s wives who helped me grow in leadership.
I am so grateful God gave me the opportunity to be mentored by both males, females, married, single, and at times people younger than me. If it hadn’t been for one of my friends, I can’t imagine being half the prayer warrior I am today.
I’m telling you all of this because many times we think of things in black and white. Like the Pro - Life movement believing having mostly women counsel women and men counsel men in their centers was the only way to go.
Can I tell you something though?
God has answered my prayers and I am seeing a new generation of leaders. Recently, a married couple made the decision to lead a pregnancy center together. A young man brought life to a center by being a smiling face to ease women’s tensions. I want to conclude this with a story of a modern-day evangelist who is doing what he can to help women.
A friend of a friend, evangelist Scott Lee, has begun the hard work and completed a really cool new project. God put on his heart to take his ministries and work on a new piece - being a father to the fatherless. Recently, he and a group of fathers opened a home for teenage mothers in Guatemala. He knew that having a father was an important thing for daughters. Like Jesus - He stood in the gap for the fatherless and helped all of these women see an earthly representation of our Heavenly Father. This is a reminder to never suppose that you know what a leader should look like for any ministry. It may surprise you what God can do with the least expected (just look at King David in the Bible!).
Stay tuned for Part 6 where we talk about one of my favorite topics - choosing friends. Excited to delve into this after sitting with over a dozen preteen girls this week discussing this topic.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Alycia Marie is a free-spirited wanderer learning to find roots. She currently resides in Milwaukee and serves the community of southeastern Wisconsin. You can typically find her outdoors, as long as it’s warm, hanging out with family/close friends, and meeting soon-to-not-be strangers. In her spare time, she writes, drinks chai tea, and builds non-profits, homes, families, and people. Some people like to call it missions. She prefers well-digging.