Bridge Building in a Great Divide

Have you found controversial topics more readily brought up in what appeared at first to be a pleasant conversation? When feelings are fragile and opinions are sharp, how do you find peace amongst those who see the world differently than you do? Do you pleasantly nod, smile, and save face as the person in front of you asserts beliefs completely counter to your own? Afterwards, are you left with a pit in your stomach as you agonize over not speaking up when you had an opportunity to do so? Alternatively, if you did take the chance to argue for your stance, do you find yourself met with the fear that your relationship with that person is perpetually altered? Does regret beset you for your particular phrasing, your approach, or the fact that you no longer navigate elusively as before? What if there is a way to find true peace even amid disagreement with others? 

Approach 

Finding the correct approach is key within any relationship, not just the ones that have points of contention. Approaching all topics with love is vital to a healthy conversation. Assume the best of the other person, even if there is even a sliver of doubt in your mind that they do not have good intentions. This positive attitude shifts the perspective and tone of the conversation from heaviness to hope, not just in the person you are speaking with, but for the future for us all. Much of assuming best intentions from others also includes truly hearing what they are seeking to convey. This is not just listening to the words coming from their mouths but allowing even what they do not say to be understood. Don’t shy away from asking for clarifications, inviting them to provide their thought process or their own wrestling with the topic. This moves to cultivate discussion, and in doing so you are operating from a heart posture of kindness and love. 

Stop People Pleasing 

People pleasing and overthinking destroy harmony and rest within your mind. In sincere efforts to keep the peace with others, we often forfeit our own peace, and we find ourselves left replaying conversations repeatedly. When such moments arise where we can choose people pleasing or overthinking, we must bring it all before the Lord. Paul encourages us in 2 Corinthians 10:5b, “we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” Even in the moment in front of another person when you cannot run to your prayer closet to pray, take every thought of what you might say into obedience to Christ. This is where we pivot from people pleasing to God pleasing, and this is where we find freedom from overthinking. If we can stand before God knowing we spoke in truth and love, we can rest with a clear conscience. We can also utilize the gift of access to wisdom through the Holy Spirit when we ask for His help.

Prayer for Wisdom 

Wisdom, discernment, and guidance are all things each and every believer has access to when we ask the Holy Spirit to assist us. We can call upon the Lord for His help even in the moment, asking Him to give us the words we need in the moment. Consider in Luke 12:11-12 how Jesus boosts His followers that even if they are brought before the authorities or rulers, they need not be afraid, “do not be anxious about how you should defend yourself or what you should say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.” We too can call upon the Holy Spirit to teach us how to navigate conversations, and you may just find that the less you rely on your own understanding, fleshly reactions, the more the Holy Spirit can use you to share wisdom with others. 

Be Teachable and Encourage Others to Be Teachable Too

As passionate as we can be about a subject or as educated, we can be in regard to a topic, we can always learn more. A teachable spirit is an asset, and it is something you can encourage in others as well. Make a point to foster a spirit of curiosity, ask questions of others and extend the suggestion for others to do the same. Curiosity lends itself to seeking, and when we seek truth, especially together, we acquire experience and knowledge. A teachable spirit commonly convenes with a spirit of humility, and when we sit before the Lord asking for His insights, His teaching, and His leading we may just find a treasure awaits. 

A Bridge Across the Divide 

Bridge building connects us, and it may just bring others to abiding in the same truth you do through Christ. Invite the Lord to instruct you when you find yourself in conversations that feel like the fiery furnace, and know you are not alone. Make it a point as well to pray for the other person in the process, for you value and respect them, and you want to enter with them into goodness in the land of the living. Ask the Lord to help you be a bridge builder and ask Him to bring about peace in a depraved world.