A Single Girl’s Guide to Holidays
A single season can hold purpose, meaning, and in many ways is a gift, but during the holidays, those truths can feel shadowed or forgotten. For many, a dread emerges in the concern that you will be asked awkward or probing questions, or the feeling of lack can encourage temptation to “cuff” for the season. Know that this holiday season does not need a fast-forward button, in fact, it may serve in years to come as a memory you cherish greatly.
Avoiding Cuffing Season
Cuffing or Cuffing Season is the temptation to commit to dating someone from the period of October through the middle of February, covering the bases of major holidays. It has also been deemed a, “Holidate” but as cute as its monikers can be, it poses many potential problems. This is not to say that you may not meet someone genuinely worth pursuing during this time, but it is vital to check your heart for motive if you truly want to connect and date someone with the right intentions, or if you just do not want to be alone. Agreements made while operating from a fear based posture of lack are typically ones that will end in regret, which is why we must seek God’s guidance before we proceed. Ask Him to align your heart with His for you during this season and make an intentional plan to only date as you feel He is authoring, not for the goal of just having a plus one. Consider the other person in this scenario as well, for you do not want to waste their time or cause them to develop a desire for a future together if you are not on the same page. Avoiding the pothole of cuffing season keeps you focused on what really matters in a relationship, and it all comes from connecting with God for what He is guiding you to do during this time.
Prepare for Nosy Family Members
Single or not, family members are all too often nosy about all the details you do and do not want to share this holiday season. Entering into the family gathering prepared will help your nerves, and it will also provide you with a solid answer to give when those questions arise. Ask yourself the question that you can guess they will ask and work on an answer that is fitting, offers respect to yourself, and shows that you are also offering regard for the person asking. We often assume the other person means malice or harm when they are sincerely curious or concerned. Don’t shy away from asking the Lord to help you script an answer and ask Him to not allow the Enemy to create division in your family relationships because of these topics. Stand firm in the season you are in and know that you matter, and these days matter to God.
Know Your Worth
Your value and worth are not dependent upon having a significant other. That is easy to say, but it is a journey to allow that truth to become a belief in your own self-concept. When we stop reading scripture as if it is a collection of niceties and instead allow it to root in our own hearts it is there that we can begin to embrace the freedom that comes from knowing who we truly are and just how much we matter to God, in and out of singleness. Take the consideration that perhaps these days are ones that you will miss one day, how they are in many ways a precious gift the Father is giving to you, specifically this year, because He values you so dearly. Let this year be one of wonder, for you never know how He might just surprise you.
Enjoy These Days
If you allow God to open your eyes to the world around you, along the way you may just find that He has a myriad of blessings and gifts for you to enjoy during these days. In single days, you can say, “yes” to more girl’s nights, you don’t have to be concerned if a plus one is having a nice time or not, and you can linger in the time of spending one-on-one time with family. Those are precious gifts, and although having a person to share them with can be lovely, will be different from what it is now. Know that these days matter more to God than you can ever possibly know, and He is not wasting your time. Commit this season to Him and allow Him to guide your steps this season is one of beauty and hope.