The Lie of Loneliness
When I found out that Tirzah was using their platform to focus on mental health, God immediately laid on my heart to write about my experiences with depression, anxiety, and PTSD.
Through a four-part series, we will break down how loneliness, fear, regret, and worry all lead to mental health struggles and how under it all, believing ourselves to be unlovable and unworthy only adds to the feelings of hopelessness we can all feel.
I will be vulnerable and open about my own mental health struggles because I want to offer hope. I also want to validate anyone who feels like no one understands what they are going through.
At the height of my crippling depression, it was hard to see the grace of God through the fog of despair I was living in. It was easier to believe the lies of the enemy than seek and see the truth that is found only in God.
When we are already feeling down on ourselves, isn’t it easier to believe the negative instead of the positive, the lies rather than the truth? One of the biggest lies we hear is, ¨I am alone, no one understands me.¨
In today’s culture, we are more connected than ever, but still feel lonelier than at any other time in history. We look for anything that will give us an identity but are unable or unwilling to see that our identity is in Christ. We seek validation from others when only God loves us unconditionally. Ephesians 2:10 even calls us “God’s handiwork”.
Let’s start by looking at what the Bible tells us about God and Satan. Knowing who they are and what they want for us will make it easier to differentiate between the truth and the lies in our lives.
In John 8:44, Jesus himself said that Satan was “a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” Jesus continues to describe the enemy when, in John 10:10, he says that Satan is a thief who “comes to steal, kill, and destroy.”
Now, let’s see who God is and what he desires for us. 1 John 1:5 says, that “God is light, in him there is no darkness at all”. In John 14:6, Christ says “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me”.
In John 10:10, the verse may have started with Jesus telling us that Satan is a thief, but then Christ states that he came so that we “may have life and have it abundantly.” His promises always overcome the enemy’s intentions! Jesus always provides a solution - namely, Himself. We can rest knowing that God is and will always be greater than our enemy!
As we saw in John 10:10, Jesus said that Satan is a thief. For years, I allowed him to steal my sanity and my grip on reality. When well-meaning people would say things like, "Other people have it worse¨ or “Just focus on the good things in your life.”
I would wonder if I was depressed because I just wasn’t happy enough with what I had. After each conversation, I could feel my peace and sanity slipping further and further away. I believed the lie of the enemy - that there was something wrong with me, that I was all alone in my feelings and circumstances.
However, God continued to be there for me, even when I couldn’t see or hear him. God holds to His word, saying He, “is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble” (Psalm 46:1).
John 10:10 also says that Satan kills; I experienced how he steals our desire to come to God. When I walked away from the Lord and left the freedom and protection I had in him, I was met with judgment by some church members instead of grace and mercy.
I was told that I did not belong in church since I was a bad influence. Someone even said that it was amazing I could leave the bar in enough time to come to church. In a place where I grew up singing songs about the love of God, a place that had been safe in my eyes, I felt attacked and unloved.
Instead of seeing my tormentors as people who also “fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). I was angry at them and believed what they said because honestly, a part of me felt like I deserved their hateful words.
Although logically, it made no sense, I believed that God must not love me if his people didn’t love me. Satan used the words and judgments of other believers to make me believe that I was a bad Christian and shouldn’t even be allowed in church.
I gave Satan a foothold to destroy the knowledge I had of an ever-loving God. The truth is that God loves us, no matter what. 1 John 4:6 says that “God is love” and Romans 5:5 says that “hope does not put us to shame because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts”.
I want to be very clear and say that not all the people in my church were like this. There were many people who genuinely loved me with a grace that could only come from Jesus. Although I didn’t know it at the time, many church members were praying for me, asking God to protect me and bring me back into his fold. I honestly don’t know where I would be today without their prayers.
The last thing Jesus says that Satan does in John 10:10 is that he destroys. During the height of my depression and anxiety, he destroyed my ability to want to do anything. A therapist at my college said that I would never get better if I continued to believe in the fairy tale that is Christianity.
She said that my faith kept me from facing reality and healing. Deep down, I knew this wasn’t true, but it was one of the first times a person in authority called me naïve for believing in God. Through her, Satan destroyed the way I viewed myself, others, and the world around me. I no longer viewed the world through the eyes of Christ and the Bible but instead, through a jaded lens of pain and confusion.
I felt like I had no one; I spent days in bed; I walked to class crying in the street. I called out from work with fake excuses. (I can’t even count how many times I had pink eye or food poisoning.) Daily, I would abuse substances to help me forget my problems, yet they only offered temporary relief. Looking back, I realize that I did all this because I felt alone, unworthy, and unloved.
For over a decade, instead of living in the freedom Christ gives, I ran to the prison the world offers. As a result, I let Satan steal my peace, kill my desire to be in the church, and destroy my worldview, but the Word of God is powerful and always gives life and hope.
His Word gives me comfort and healing. It is a source of joy, wisdom, and freedom. These verses have been a source of comfort to me over the years. I hope they help you live in freedom, rejoice in blessings, and embrace healing:
2 Corinthians 3:17 tells us that where the Lord is, “there is freedom”.
Galatians 5:1 says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free”. Isaiah 61:3 says Christ “will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair”.
Proverbs 4:21-22 says that God’s words “bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body”.
At any point in our lives, through every thought and feeling, we can investigate the Bible and see the evidence of God’s love, mercy, and grace. The Bible gives us strength when we feel weak and victory when we feel defeated.
We can live freely, strong in the knowledge that God will always defeat Satan. The Word of God is always true and helps us see the enemy's lies for what they are - distractions that pull us away from Jesus. I hope you know that you are not alone, and that Jesus is always there for you with a deep and profound love.
Application:
Is there a passage in the Bible that always brings your comfort no matter how many times you read it? If not, ask family and friends for their favorite verses, or do a Google search to get started.
Pray! No matter how far away God may feel to you today, pray to him. He loves you more than you will ever know!
If you’ve never been or haven’t been in a while, go to church. Take the time after the service to talk to a pastor so they can help and guide you.
Also: If you are struggling with mental health, you may need to seek professional help. Praying to God daily and reading the Bible are wonderful ways to start and continue your recovery; yet you may also need to also ask about medications and therapy.
It is possible to manage symptoms and lead a fulfilling and productive life. I can confidently say that my belief in God, having a solid group of Christians who pray for me, a church that is grounded in the Bible, and family and friends who walk beside me has made my depression, anxiety, and PTSD easier to deal with, while also giving me a hope for the future of my continued recovery. Always remember that you are not alone!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Although she grew up on the beach in SC and lived in mountains of CO, Andrea loves living in GA more than anywhere else since that is where she lives with her husband, John. She has a passion for reading anything she can get her hands on, especially books about Art History and Christian Apologetics. Andrea herself will tell you how little she knows, and how, as she gets older, she forgets a lot of what she did know. However, she knows that God offers a peace beyond understanding, his timing is perfect, and he works all things for his glory. In this season of life, she is experiencing the blessings of marriage, as well as the newness of God’s healing and restoration. She enjoys sharing her life and the Word of God through writing for Tirzah and hopes that lives and hearts will be touched through her words