We’ve all heard the story of the innkeeper. He’s the bad guy in the story, right? The one we talk about who forced Jesus to be born in a barn. It’s interesting to me that he gets a bad rap. God started showing me how the innkeeper was a good guy in the story. He’s the one who gave what he had. He didn’t have a palace, but he gave what he had. That makes him a hero in the story and why he was given a place in the story.

One of the people that showed up in my story was an innkeeper. He is single, not old yet not a young man. Serving with young adults and having helped in the pro-life movement - similar to me. My car broke down and he attempted to help fix it. When I made the decision, it was beyond repair - he came and was present while I sold it. A virtual stranger until he showed up to help once at my pregnancy medical clinic and then again to help me move after all the young men that were supposed to help jumped ship. Then, he showed up right when God knew I needed him.

The day I sold my car, he presented me with an offer. While I was waiting for the next thing, I could ride with him whenever I wanted to church and young adults ministry - for as long as I needed. He told me I was on the way and it wouldn’t be a problem. The last place I wanted to be was the church he was at & the ministry he was involved in. Yet, I prayed and God said go. So I accepted the offer and I went.

Who knew two people could cause so much controversy? After less than a couple of weeks, it became a game (that’s what it felt like) in a very large church. Rather than asking me about my car situation, I heard rumors of our imaginary dating life. I was asked if I was ok. One day a very dear friend expressed her concern for me and felt that this man giving me what he had & could help with would prevent my hopes of getting married.

At that moment, God gave me the analogy of the innkeeper. I explained to this friend that God gave me an innkeeper. This man was called to singleness right now in a dream - he couldn’t get married. Yes, I did need income - so he taught me more about budgeting and investing. I needed to learn to develop closer relationships and express my opinion - the poor man has had plenty of opportunity to hear all of my opinions now. No, he wasn’t a husband but his presence did protect me from the harm of others. I explained that to my friend and then she decided my acceptance of his & I’s friendship meant I would break his heart because I wasn’t going down the path of her romantic dreams of my life (I do love her to death and love that she wants what she thinks is best for me).

This man transformed the way I viewed people. As a perfectionist, I always held myself to a crazy standard - running companies, building companies, and serving even more than I probably should. However, at that moment I saw a man who gave what he had and was willing to give it. Why would I turn down that offer and that offer of friendship?

That relationship gave ample opportunity to explain to women that men were more than marriage material. They’re real human beings with real feelings and they can care about you without sex being a requirement. That friendship challenged so many people’s concepts and has tested/removed even some of my friendships. However, it allowed a church to see my heart for men and meet them where they were.

I also saw a man who was accepting way less than he deserved. Like so many of us, he grew up broken and hadn’t fully experienced the fullness of a Godly, loving relationship. It taught me a new appreciation for my family and gave me the wisdom to love him where he was. I watched as some of the people he would say loved him the most, talk about him. I listened as he told me what it meant to love and what the meaning of love was. All while praying that God would give Him people to unveil the full meaning of God’s love and Godly relationships. He would say the same to me and some of my friends.

This relationship caused me to confront some of my hurts and bring healing. He took me right back to the place where I thought people had cared about me, while they were hurling stones at me. He gave me a new perception to see that they were broken & so was I. I learned to stand firm - instead of running away. It was also time for me to take ownership that I was given an advantage with pastors pouring into me, a family that loved me, and new friends who fought for me. This led to a lot of hurting and healing.

I hope this inspires you to meet people, both male and female, where they are. You never know what’s right in front of you. Don’t write anyone off. You never know if they are meant for a season or for a long time. Don’t put any relationship in a box. I’m grateful for each individual in my life, whether for a lifetime or a moment, they are a part of my story. And you never know how God can transform relationships if you don’t meet people right where they are.