Struggles from the Middle
Recently, I’ve noticed how drawn our society is to transformation stories. We watch home renovations on HGTV, we scroll through fitness before and afters on Instagram, and we fill our shelves with best-selling inspirational transformation stories. We cannot get enough of seeing how other people have made dramatic changes in their lives.
The thing is, as much as we love these stories, we only get to see stories of change once they are over and done with. These stories show us where people started and where they end up, but we don’t get a full picture of the middle. Sure, we may get to hear about the steps someone took to arrive at the end result, but because we already know that they reached their end goal, we don’t truly understand the struggle of the time between the before and after.
People don’t like to share their struggles while they are in the middle of that struggle. I’d be happy to tell you about how I’ve overcome difficulties in the past. I would be able to minimize the fear and pain of uncertainty that occurred while dealing with the problem, and I’d place most of the focus on the lessons I learned which would be more obvious with the benefit of hindsight. However, if you ask me what problems I’m facing right now, I’d be much more reluctant to share. The current issues that I’m facing feel raw, and I would be embarrassed to share how discouraged I feel sometimes.
There’s been a rise in the idea of being authentic or vulnerable in response to the perfection of the curated glimpses of life that we see on social media, but often this means that people share their past struggles rather than their current struggles.
Seeing other people share the struggles that they have overcome can be inspirational, but it can also be isolating. When you find yourself in the midst of your own struggle, it may feel as if you shouldn’t let other people know how difficult things are until you are successfully on the other side. Because we normally only see the trials that others are facing after everything is done, we may feel disheartened about our own struggles. I know that I personally feel like something is wrong with me when I experience a failure that isn’t immediately followed by a success. It feels as if maybe you are the only one who just can’t quite push through.
But the difficulties we face in life aren’t things that need to be hidden away out of shame.
“Dear brothers and sisters when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.” James 1:1-2
Now, I will admit that I do not normally view troubles as a joy, but it is reassuring to know that all Christians face times that are difficult. We cannot expect that our lives will always be perfect regardless of how hard we try to configure our lives in just the right way. But, we can recognize that the issues that we face are part of what shapes us into the people we need to be. It is not as glamorous a process as it appears to be on Instagram or in glossy magazines, but it is an unavoidable part of life.
I’ve been reading Brene Brown’s Rising Strong (which I highly recommend). In an early chapter of the book, she writes, “The middle is messy, but it’s also where the magic happens.” As much as we might want to skip the middle of difficult times, we will never have any change without enduring that middle portion of the journey.
We can’t allow ourselves to believe that we are the only ones having a messy middle. Hiding our struggles isolates us and makes the journey that much harder for others going through the same trials. It’s scary sometimes to be in the middle, but we should be comforted to know that others have been there before and that some are there right now. We should also be comforted in knowing that God is with us even when we are in the messy middle.
“Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.” Psalm 25:4-5
We can pray for guidance to help us just as many have done before us. And, we can stay strong during our troubles knowing that we will eventually be led through them.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Elizabeth is an educator at heart. So far this has taken the form of a camp counselor, a museum assistant, and currently a middle school teacher. She loves to watch people grow and learn. You can read more of her writing at her blog Chronicles of a Southern Belle. (http://chroniclesofasouthernbelle.blogspot.com)