Media Matters: Part 7

Last month, I went super deep into the negative effects of social media. We’ve talked about the dangers of pornography, OnlyFans, and utilizing social media for evil. Before that, we discussed the positives that I’ve seen from relationships and ministries built online. Today, I want to highlight something positive and unexpected that came into my own life from online ministry.

What feels like a lifetime ago, I met another young woman through Tirzah and we embarked on a journey to attempt to start a home for teenage mothers. Sadly, that home has still not come to fruition. However, God built an unexpected relationship through our online meeting on a women’s magazine and then attempting to start a home for teenage girls who were going to be mothers.

That relationship was actually not with this young woman. It was with a man who met her the same week. Without his presence and example in my life, I can’t imagine who I would be today. It was an anomaly of relationships. A man with a burden for helping teenage girls and an exemplary ability to navigate being friends with all females and making them feel valued. We met because of Tirzah and he opened my eyes to things I’ve never seen before.

Nathan showed me that a healthy man values all women in his life and champions them. We met because of Tirzah, but he lived blocks from me. Our world collided with hearts for the inner city. A tall, blond haired, blue eyed man who would rap on stages to support young teenage mothers at our festivals. He became a friend who celebrated life events. When I moved from working in Waukesha, where he also worked, he ended up following me right down to the Racine and Kenosha areas where I worked. The most impactful thing, for me, was watching him pursue what is now one of my best friends and show me how a man pursues/treats/values a woman.

For most of my life, I watched a pattern in the church. It was women that believed their whole identity revolved around marriage and having kids. They were ready to marry the first man they could have or compromise the values they had. Nathan showed me how a man pursued a woman who knows who she is. His wife, Paige, is one of the most incredible women I know who has purpose, passion, and loves everyone around her. Nathan saw that in her and he followed a verse that has stuck out to me ever since.

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife, and the two shall be one…”

- Matthew 19:5

Before Nathan, I had never noticed the context of that verse. It actually says “a man” shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. I’ve delved into original languages, commentaries, and research - each translation continually says the same thing “man”. I realized that Nathan was the first man I had ever seen who laid down his life for his wife and followed her into her world to help expand her calling.

This meant a lot - because I heard from another man later on that his dream was to step into his wife’s calling IF he got married. I thought it was the strangest statement and several people around him were trying to say women were called to be a “helpmate” and should step into what he was doing. Watching Nathan and Paige, I found Matthew 19:5 and it reframed how I saw both myself and marriage. It showed me that the calling I have, that I’ve been told I’m very good at, is a worthy calling and I can trust that God has His own plans for my own future and IF I get married.

Nathan pursued Paige. He stepped into her world. Moved into the home she already owned when they got married. Joined her parent’s work with her and is now an example to the men in her community. Together, they have been able to expand God’s Kingdom. They have two little kiddos now. They no longer work together, but I truly believe God used Nathan’s willingness to work with her parents to set an example for me and other women of what it means to lay down one’s life and “leave and cleave” to the one a man has chose to love. Paige shines under his leadership and has become an even more amazing woman than she already was (and she’s pretty incredible). He showed an example that Christ sets in the following verse:

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends”

- John 15:13

His continual pursuit and laying down of his life for his wife and children result in blessings. These are two of my best friends and life is not perfect for them. But, his continual pursuit of Christ and laying down his life has brought Paige’s continual laying down of her life to those around her. They’ve been interviewed by me, actually, at a church conference about marriage and they speak about marriage, on occasion, in marriage classes.

Their continual presence in my life and BOTH of their encouragement in the pursuit of my dreams and never settling has been a blessing in my life. All thanks to Tirzah. In real life in the state of Wisconsin, people know us as friends from the same communities. They have no idea that our God encounter started because of Tirzah - a magazine that stands for exactly the type of marriage they have created. 

I want to encourage you from their relationship. You don’t have to settle. The right man will see your pursuit of God and he will see the reward that you are. The Bible has the following things to say to both men and women:

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favor from the Lord…”

- Proverbs 18:22

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies…”

- Proverbs 31: 10

“The wife God gives you is a reward for all your earthly toil…”

- Ecclesiastes 9:9

Do you know what all of these verses have in common? They say that you are a treasure, a reward from the Lord. Meant to be loved, cherished, pursued. If more men laid down their lives for their wives and women waited to be pursued, I truly believe that healing would come to our nation and between the genders. So many times we get in arguments over submission, but a man who is truly pursuing the Lord and laying down his life for his family is worth submitting to. Thank you, Jesus, for incredibly imperfect yet beautiful marriages that challenge us to value one another and the roles God has given both men and women while we are here on this earth.