Manna and Lessons on Perfectionism
I have a confession to make: I am a perfectionist. Not a minor perfectionist either, liking things done well and making deadlines on time. I am the kind of person who literally does not know when to stop, because things could always be better. I could always be better. Do more. Get more done in a day.
If that doesn’t sound healthy, I’ll confirm that it’s not. There are many, many stories I could share about how my drive to make things better has caused unnecessary stress, strained relationships, and made me less effective in everyday life.
For a long time, this seemed like a righteous trait; perhaps even a holy trait. I strived for excellence, hard work, and full commitment to whatever I was doing. Growing up, I always heard Colossians 3:23 as a call to do everything perfectly.
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters” (Colossians 3:23).
Because God is holy; He is perfect. Any work done for Him must be perfect. Therefore, everything I do must be perfect.
It’s taken a lot of time to work through the misunderstanding that excellence=perfection, and I know that this may be a lifelong process. But this week I saw with new eyes a piece of a familiar Bible story that I have always missed.
Do you remember how God faithfully provided manna in the wilderness for the Israelites in Exodus 16? He commanded them to collect what they needed each day, every day. Except for the Sabbath. On the day before the Sabbath, they were to collect enough for two days.
Now, did the Israelites obey? No, they did not.
Did they say, “I don’t feel like collecting food today” and slide into complacency with God’s provision? No, at least, not right here.
But instead, they collected more manna than they were told to. They tried to collect more than one day’s worth of manna at a time and it rotted.
The issue here wasn’t that the Israelites were trying to be responsible. The issue was that they took the responsibility of provision into their own hands. There was a part of them that doubted that God would provide for them the next day.
When I saw that the Israelites were trying to provide out of their own striving rather than trusting God for daily provision, I saw that I do the same thing in my life.
I can always work more for more money. Not for nice things, but just in case it’s needed for an emergency.
I can always spend more time doing research for major decisions, knowing that I’ve learned all I can realistically learn to make a wise decision.
But under the guise of responsibility was my own need for control. Dig a little deeper and saw that I had placed my identity as being someone who was always reliable.
Good traits became impossible striving and a false sense of control. And this control was easily shattered when things didn’t go as planned.
It made sense for the Israelites to collect as much manna as they could. To the outsider, it was even a good idea to spend all their energy collecting food. When else would they have consistent access to food?
But God instructed them not to. They were expected to trust that God provides when we faithfully surrender our striving and obey His commands even if they involve risk.
Control whispers the false promises that this world does not provide: less hurt, less struggle, less uncertainty.
But God offers us something better. Something eternal. And that is the opportunity to trust and rest in God.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kayley is a daughter of Jesus Christ who deeply desires for women seek the Lord in every aspect of their lives. Her plans after college have become wildly different than she had anticipated and has been experiencing the joys and challenges of surrendering her perfectionism to the One who holds all things. She is a lover of fresh flowers, sunrises, fancy coffees, and game nights. She works as an eating disorder dietitian and enjoys blogging about all things food, faith, and body image at freedomandglorynutrition.com.