Love Does Not Boast
What is love and how do we know if it is lasting? I have asked myself this question throughout the course of my life. Time and time again, I have been reminded what lasting love looks like by looking in God's Word. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV, I have been able to read, see, and feel what true love looks like. It isn’t just some reading that is popular at weddings and it isn’t just some nice sounding script that looks good on a Pinterest plaque. It is a description of who God is while also being a guidebook for how we are to love.
There is a well-known philosophical question that asks, “If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around, does it make a sound?”
I personally prefer my own philosophical question, “If I exercise without my Apple watch on, have I really burned any calories?”
Here’s another modern day philosophical question, “If I don’t post it on social media, did it really happen?”
All three of these questions address and focus on perception and observation, as well as understanding. They all are ultimately asking the question, “If I don’t see it, is it real and did it really happen?”
Or
“If others don’t know about or praise me for my deeds, am I worthy enough or liked enough?”
As women, our tendency is to base our self-acceptance on either the praise or criticisms of other people. We value ourselves based on how others value us. We need to feel loved and accepted, not criticized and ignored.
Our feelings are not the sin, they are not the issue. The sinful attitude comes in when we demand notice, demand acknowledgement. We are sinful when we do good things with the desire to be seen. We are sinful when we desire the acceptance and love of others above our relationship with God.
The fact is that God already accepted us when we accepted Christ into our hearts and lives. We are daughters of a heavenly king. We are loved by God more than we are loved by any other person. In the eyes of God, our acceptance is not only worldly but eternal. We are called to come to the cross just as we are. We do not need to be anyone other than who we are, flaws and all.
The Bible is full of passages in both the Old and New Testaments that talk about boasting. These passages criticize people who boast in themselves, remind people that sinful boasting doesn’t lead to eternal rewards, and encourages people to boast only in the Lord.
In the New Testament, Jesus focuses on the sinfulness of boasting in Matthew 6 NIV . He does nothing short of criticize the people who boast. He addresses how individuals have boastful attitudes and hearts when they force others to acknowledge them and their actions. Jesus called out spiritual leaders who publicly prayed and fasted with the intention to be recognized by other people as holy. Jesus did not call out these people for their actions but because of their hearts.
In verse 1, the Word says, “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.”
Jesus flat out encourages people to practice righteousness in solitude. When we have this kind of intimate time with our Lord, we are acknowledging that his love supersedes any love or acceptance by other people. He is reassuring believers of eternal rewards when they seek God for his presence alone, instead of the temporary love and acceptance of others.
In verses 2 -4, Jesus goes on to say that when you give to the needy, don’t do it to be recognized for giving. When we give in secret, God knows and will reward us. In verses 5-8, Jesus chastises hypocrites who pray out loud and with many words, wanting to be seen as holy to others. Instead, Jesus encourages believers to pray unseen by others because “your Father knows what you need before you ask him”.
In all of these verses, Jesus clearly addresses the consequences of boastfulness before others and the rewards of quiet humility before God. The rewards God bestows on us far outweighs the provisional earthy rewards we may receive from the acknowledgement of people. When we approach God, desiring his holiness and reflecting on his goodness, he will know what we need and provide it for us.
In the Old Testament, in Psalm 94 NIV, David repeatedly asks God the question of how long wicked people will be allowed to speak with boastfulness. David, who was a man after God’s own heart, saw that the boastful people were arrogant men who oppressed others. He saw their sinfulness and wanted justice. He was frustrated to see these wicked and vile people prosper. He wanted God to essentially put the wicked and vile in their place. He even calls on God to “pay back to the proud what they deserve (v.2).
However, David’s anger turns to praise in verse 8. He writes that God indeed both hears and sees the actions of these wicked people. David proclaims that man’s plans are futile compared to God’s plans. He rejoices in the discipline of God, knowing God will never forsake him. He knows that God will both support David and bring him joy. He calls God his fortress and “the rock in whom I take refuge.” He states, without hesitation, in verse 23 that God “will repay them for their sins, and destroy them for their wickedness”.
David could have used the entire Psalm to give detailed accounts of what sins were done by these boastful people. He could have had a checklist of the wrongdoings of others. He could have listed specific instances where it seemed like God did not notice the sinful actions of these people but he didn’t.
Instead, David used the remainder and the bulk of this particular Psalm to focus on the glory and justice of God. Instead of blaming God for his seeming indifference, David chose to focus instead on the holy and just qualities of God. David chose to boast in the Lord and all that God had done for him, and all that he knew to be true of God. This is the one way scripture encourages us to boast.
“Therefore, as it is written, let him who boasts boast in the Lord.”-1 Corinthians 1:31 NIV
Sure, we can feel defeated when it seems like injustice is being done without consequences, or when the boastful and sinful prosper. We can allow our anger to overwhelm our thoughts and emotions. Sure, we could ask for others to appreciate us. We could do things hoping to be recognized as holy or generous. But when we do these things, we minimize the greatness of our Lord and lose eternal focus.
When we boast, we should do it about our Lord and there are infinite ways to boast about our God! For me, I can boast without doubt or hesitation about all the ways God has provided for me. I can boast about how when I enter into prayer, God is there. I can boast about how he is an ever present help in trouble. I can boast about his faithfulness and love. I can boast about how he has given me joy and peace in times of trouble.
There are so many things to boast about when it comes to our Lord. When we focus on him and do things for him alone, we may not feel it at the time but we can hold to the truth that he will reward us for our faithfulness. We know that we can bask in the glory of his love and acceptance, which are always there for us.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Andrea Buie grew up as a South Carolina girl who currently lives in Georgia but her heart is in Colorado. She lived in CO for 5 years and was able to work for a Christian worldview organization called Summit Ministries. Her marriage is an example of how it's great to wait for God's perfect timing. She didn't get married until she was 40 and has never regretted the wait since her husband is perfect for her. Together, they have a furbaby named Maya and they love to take her on walks at the park near their home in Atlanta.