Looking Back to Look Forward
This time of year always grips me with stress and fear. Not necessarily due to the busyness of the holiday season (although that is certainly there) but because of all the unknowns looming in the year ahead. As disciples of Jesus, however, we are called to allow tomorrow to inform the decisions of today, but return to the urgent business of the living present, in the moment. In other words, we are wise about the future but we do not live there.
In C.S. Lewis’s Screwtape Letters, a devil writes his nephew a letter to encourage him on how lure men away from God. Regarding the future he says:
[God’s] ideal is a man who, having worked all day for the good of posterity (if that is his vocation), washes his mind of the whole subject, commits the issue to Heaven, and returns at once to the patience or gratitude demanded by the moment that is passing over him. But we want a man hag-ridden by the Future — haunted by visions of an imminent heaven or hell upon earth — ready to break the Enemy’s commands in the present if by so doing we make him think he can attain the one or avert the other — dependent for his faith on the success or failure of schemes whose end he will not live to see. We want a whole race perpetually in pursuit of the rainbow’s end, never honest, nor kind, nor happy now, but always using as mere fuel wherewith to heap the altar of the future every real gift which is offered them in the Present.
Personally, my year has been chock-full of grief and stretching; some for my good and some seemingly pointless. Those close to me have had their share of burdens, and I’m sure you have too. Be assured: He knows the pain and wrestling over the most honest and raw prayers that keep us up at night. Only He can see the knees bent on cold early morning ground and the tears that fall secretly. I wish it were not only the struggles that bow our heads, but also that praise would elicit just as much desire for you. Whatever the cause or result of sorrow, we must look to Him who holds it all together, who remains crowned and on the throne.
“So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image. Therefore, since God in his mercy has given us this new way, we never give up.”
I know there are some sisters out there who are weary and burdened. I want to encourage you today, that you are not alone, you are seen, you are loved by the King of Heaven. But don’t take my word for it; see the evidence for yourself.
In Exodus, God promises Moses that he will be allowed to see God’s back, but not his face. We can see him looking back, but he does not allow us to see him coming.
The Lord replied, “I will make all my goodness pass before you, and I will call out my name, Yahweh, before you. For I will show mercy to anyone I choose, and I will show compassion to anyone I choose. But you may not look directly at my face, for no one may see me and live.” The Lord continued, “Look, stand near me on this rock. As my glorious presence passes by, I will hide you in the crevice of the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and let you see me from behind. But my face will not be seen.” -Exodus 33:19-23
I love this verse because it just reminds me that God can always be seen in everything, even if we can’t understand or comprehend it when it first happens. The Bible consistently exhorts believers to look back and remember:
Then take care lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. -Deuteronomy 6:12
Remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me... -Isaiah 46:9
I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. -Psalm 77:11
Think back (or make a list, whichever is more helpful!) and contemplate God’s faithfulness to you over the past year.
How has He shown up for you?
What prayers has He answered?
What questions do you have?
What do you know now about God that you did not know 12 months ago?
For myself, He has seen fit to allow me an incredible amount of growing and stretching this year. This year I have come to deeply understand and appreciate how very deep the chasm between the Word of God and my own earthly life.
He has taught me to pray correctly and has led me to apply the things I am learning. He has led me to holy sorrow and repentance by revealing my sins to me and then forgiving me on the spot. He has given me a renewed enthusiasm for quiet time in the morning — for prayer and to linger over scripture. He showed me that I am a being designed to be thankful all the time as a result of my nature, not because of favorable circumstances. He has provided me in my quiet times ample space to analyze, question, wonder, confess, wrestle, cry, laugh, praise and sing.
And so we find that we must look back in order to look forward; anticipate the coming year, not with dread but with awe and reverence, owning that there is still so much more to learn and puzzle over as we are sanctified. Do not forget. In Jesus’s name we are able to confidently march into the future with heads and banners held high on behalf of the lamb of God.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Molly Gonzalez is a full time working wife and mama living in Ojai, CA. She is passionate about the Word of God and discipleship. She especially loves to write about practical scripture application and finds the most joy when just sitting with a friend and a pot a coffee. Her writings can be found at mollylgonzalez.com.