Living In Between: Seasons of Transition
We’re always on the way to someplace or something or someone. Our sights are always set on what’s next. We channel our energy and time into getting through whatever is going on right now so that we can get to that. It’s getting through the Tuesdays and Wednesdays of life to get to the Saturdays and Sundays. But what if God wants us to savor those Tuesdays and Wednesdays, those times of “in between”? What do we miss when we just power through to the “end goal?”
James tells us that we should “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (James 1:2-4).
But what happens when those trials just leave you feeling like you’re standing on the edge of a cliff, stretching out a foot to reach the other side and you just can’t make it. Or you’re feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place. Or the journey is just too long and you’re never going to make it to the destination on the other side.
Feeling like you’re just stuck “in between” can be a test of faith, of steadfastness. And it’s hard to find joy during those seasons. So, how do we cope?
In Between Churches
Church is where I find my stability. That’s where I find people who hold me accountable, call me out when I’m acting crazy, and confirm when God is calling me to step out in faith. When I’m not consistently plugged into that community, it’s easy for my relationship with God to feel a little wishy-washy. I can read my Bible every day and listen to Christian music. But at the end of the day, I desperately want the community that’s only found within the “walls” of a church.
I haven’t been physically plugged into a Christian community since December. Between moving across the country and maneuvering life in the midst of a pandemic, connecting with a church hasn’t exactly been easy. For a season, I spent my Sundays curled up on the couch just wishing I could go back to how everything was “before.” And I let myself wallow in that place of grief for far too long.
While your church community can serve as a place where you find safety and stability, the church is not your god. If you are between churches (or even just physically distant from your church community), you’ve got to remember who you actually worship.
So, where’s the joy when you’re in between churches?
You learn how to experience and discover God without the guidance of a pastor or teacher, you develop greater intimacy with Him. You remember who you worship and why. This “in between” time can be full of learning and growth for you if you commit to it!
But praise God - social distancing measures have been raised enough for churches to start meeting and I might have found a church!
In Between Jobs
About a year ago, I walked away from a very stable full-time job to...travel. And not work. My identity had become so wrapped up in my work that I lost sight of who I was and who God had created me to be. The only way to shake out of that was to leave. So I did.
Walking away from stability doesn’t make sense to anyone. My friends and family thought I was a little crazy. And a lot of strangers that I met along the way thought that I was crazy. But during that season, I discovered that I didn’t need a job to define me. I let go of rules and expectations that I had placed on myself. I wandered and explored with a freedom that I had never known before. And I established friendships based on how I loved and lived.
So, where’s the joy when you’re in between jobs?
There is joy when you accept that you are not defined by your work. Instead, you take a deep breath and dive into life based on how you love and how you live.
In Between Relationships
I am amazing at being single. My dating history includes a smattering of 3-6 month relationships with everyone from rock climbers to wine sales reps to teachers. I could tell you that I learned something about myself from each of those relationships and that would be true…
But I didn’t get to do any of that learning until I was out of the relationship. There are years of space between each guy that I’ve dated and it’s during those “in between” seasons that I’ve really been able to understand what I need from a relationship - my priorities, my boundaries, and how I expect a guy to help me to connect with God.
I’m not suggesting that you just hop from guy to guy in order to learn about yourself. Instead, I’m suggesting that - if you encounter a break up - sit with it. Don’t push yourself into another relationship ASAP. Instead, take time to reflect on what worked, what didn’t work, and what you actually need/want from a partner.
So, where’s the joy when you’re in between relationships?
You learn what you actually need in a relationship (and you realize how amazing you are without one).
Never Between God
Being in between can be hard. It can feel like that test that James talked about...and all we want is to feel so steadfast that we don’t even realize how long we’ve been “in between.” But, all the way back in the Old Testament, David was preparing us for this place:
Trust in the Lord, and do good;
Dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the lord,
And he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
Trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
And your justice as the noonday.
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;
-Psalm 37:2-7a
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Mary Elizabeth spent the past six years doing life in Nashville, TN…from grad school to working in a pie shop to running after school programs. But then she got a little antsy. She’s currently in a season of “wandering”…exploring the people, tastes and experiences that the country has to offer. As she set out on this journey her hope was to engage with people in more authentic ways and to hike everything possible. If you're curious about where she is and what she's up to, visit sunsetsstormclouds.home.blog.