How I Began to Love Myself
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength,” this is the Greatest Commandment (Matthew 22:37-38). “Love your neighbor as yourself,” this is the Second Commandment (Matthew 22:39). Let’s unpack that “love” word just a bit in order to understand exactly what Jesus is asking of us today.
What is love? Two cliche but relevant answers come to mind. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says,
“love is patient and kind. It does not envy or boast, it is not proud, rude, self-seeking, and not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs and does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.”
Love is sacrifice. We know this to be true because God sent His Son to sacrifice His life for you and for me (John 3:16). 1 John 4 states, “God is love” over and over again. Thus, love is sacrifice.
I would like to challenge you in taking love one step further then sacrifice. Love is also commitment. Jesus was committed to the call on His life. He was faithful and diligent in doing all that our Father asked Him. Jesus was fully God and fully man (Luke 1:35). He was tempted (Hebrews 4:15). He was mocked (Luke 23:35-37). Ultimately, He was crucified. At any point He could have saved His own life and left us here in the dust. But, He didn’t. He stayed committed to living a sin free life and dying there on a cross, all for us. Thus, love is commitment.
Take a quick assessment of your life. Are you devoted to God so much so that it is expressed with your entire being? This is something we should forever strive for. Sure, we are not perfect and we will fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). We are human, it is part of our sinful nature. Although, if we strive to love God more and more, He is pleased with us (Hebrews 11:6).
So, that Second Commandment… you know the one about loving your neighbor as yourself? Yeah, that can not be done if you are not striving to love God. That’s why we needed to unpack “love” before stepping into the Second Commandment. In this Commandment the word, “as” has a very significant meaning. I have cross referenced multiple translations and have found that this little two letter word never changes. “As,” let’s look at two definitions:
Refers to the extent or degree of something
Indicates by comparison the way something is done
When taking the first definition into consideration, this passage is saying that the EXTENT or DEGREE in which we love ourselves dictates the extent or degree we love others. The second definition states that HOW we love ourselves is how we love others. These past couple months I have been on a journey of “loving myself”. When God first took me on this journey, I realized I needed to know myself in order to love myself.
There are two main things I have done to help me know myself:
The Holy Spirit impressed it on my heart to write a letter to whom I call, “My Top 5” (those 5 friends who I know love me, whose opinions I trust and value and well, the ones I don’t know where I’d be without them in my life). In this letter, I asked them to evaluate my life, character, personality and quirks and then reply with one thing they believe I am really good at, and also one or two things I could work on.
I created a document that consisted of my Life Verse, Calling, Mission, Vision, Values, Truths, Dreams, Goals, Passions, Interests, Gifts, Love Languages, and Personality.
The responses I got from “My Top 5” exceeded my expectations, so much so that I printed them out, highlighted the “good things” they mentioned and underlined the things they said I could work on. These responses are kept in my Bible case and are frequently read to remind myself of the strengths and weaknesses I need to further develop.
The document I created is something I frequently revisit and revise. God is constantly speaking to me and helping me refine and define who I am. We were all created for a purpose and when you start to see that purpose, you gain joy, clarity, freedom and drive. Seeing who God created me to be has truly set a fire in me to live out that life.
Both of these exercises have opened my eyes to see myself the way God sees me, the way He created me. I can honestly say that it has become easier to love myself simply because I took the time to get to know me. This journey has consisted of actively pursuing myself and this is something I will never stop doing. The more I pursue understanding, honoring and loving myself, the easier it has been to do the same for those in my life.
Understanding who you are is just the preface to loving yourself and loving others. My prayer for each person that reads this article is that they would join me in the journey of love. Loving God, loving others and loving themselves.
You are seen. You are worthy. You are wanted. You are loved.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Growing up, Courtney was surrounded by brokenness. Thanks to Jesus' love, sacrifice, and pursuit, she now lives a life commissioned to His good plan. As a daughter of the King and Pastor to His people, she loves walking alongside others as they transition into joy and confidence. She has a heart for others to know their true worth and find freedom from their past. Courtney also enjoys reading, working out & is almost always listening music.