Hiking Down: When The Door Doesn't Open
It started with a hike and my prideful frustrations at the bottom of a mountain. I was miffed. Life was not going the way I wanted and, honestly, hadn’t been for a few months now, and I was going to take a solo hike to exercise my independence. It was the one thing I could control, the one thing I could orchestrate, and with that attitude in mind I started hiking.
It was going fine until I ran into an obstacle.
A fork in the path.
I didn’t know which road to take. I didn’t have a map and I had been too impatient and prideful to ask for a guide, so I was stuck. However, I was determined too, so I pushed forward. The first path went for fifty feet and dead-ended.
I had to backtrack. “Ok, so, clearly the second path.” I thought. Fifty feet, and another dead end.
I went back. How can this be? Usually, when one door or path closes, another door opens, right?
“Maybe you should hike back.”
The still, small voice whispered into my heart, and grated against the wall of me. No. That would mean conceding, and admitting defeat. I was flustered, sweaty and driven to get to the end. But, there was no way to move forward, unless I was willing to bushwhack myself into an even deeper predicament.
I didn’t want to hike back down, because that would mean ending up right where I didn’t want to be, dealing with what I would rather avoid, doing what God wanted versus what I wanted - and I think that was the point.
Begrudgingly, I hiked down.
A week later I was in a prayer/worship time, and the Holy Spirit dragged up the memory of the mountain and brought His revelations.
“It’s time to hike down from the path you have been trying to climb. Come back down to square one.”
I realized that maybe the “hike” I was on in my life wasn’t meant to be hiked in the first place. Maybe I was supposed to stay at the base of the mountain and wait for God to lead me somewhere else.
I found myself on my knees in that small worship service, hiking my soul down.
And I thought I had finished my work. I thought I had gotten all the way down and was fully ready to let God lead me, until six months later God once again began to press into my heart.
“Beloved, take your hands off the mountain.”
I hadn’t actually gone back to square one, I had gone back to the trail head of this path and waited for God to meet me there. But, metaphorically writing, He was still waiting for me in the parking lot.
“It’s square one.”
Square one meant letting go of the whole mountain.
Square one has been made into a villain. It’s the thing we’ve made out to mean we’ve regressed, failed and suffered defeat. This is untrue!
Square one is a gift and a blessing that God extends to us daily. He is the God of square one. This was the ministry of Jesus.
“As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” At once they left their nets and followed him. When he had gone a little farther, he saw James son of Zebedee and his brother John in a boat, preparing their nets. Without delay he called them, and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men and followed him.” -Mark 1:16-20
“Quit the path you have been traveling down,” Jesus calls them, “and come with me to square one on the Kingdom path.”
Often in the gospels, we see the disciples still camped out by the trailhead, “This is what my plan for the Messiah looks like, c’mon Jesus, let’s go.”
And over and over again, Jesus nudges them back to square one, to a different trail, to a new understanding.
I finally sat down and I wrote out a prayer of surrender and I let God bring me to square one. It wasn’t too long after that when He laid new plans in my life. I wouldn’t have been able to receive them if I had still been fighting to hike that mountain.
I want to extend this thought to you. Where are you at? Is it a dream that isn’t panning out no matter how hard you try to force it? Is it a bad relationship that you need to walk away from? Is it a step forward into a new town, job or community that you’ve been avoiding to take? Is it an addiction you keep trying to function with in your life? Is it a false belief about God that is influencing your decisions? Or maybe, is it the plan you have your life’s trajectory?
As we hope for an end to shelter-in-place, let’s embrace the opportunity to start over, to come back to square one, take a deep breath, and walk with God into something new.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Mia Grace loves sunflowers, words, old hardcover books, and fountain pens. She adores Jesus Christ, and seeks to listen and obey him in her life. Her life verse is Isaiah 52:7, and her prayer is for every girl to grasp the height, weight, depth, width, and power of Christ's love for them.