Happy Husband, Happy Wife
I’m a single woman currently. No ring on my finger, no man to call my own, yet — if the Lord wills. So I do the best I can to insert myself in third person as I write this article.
Kelly lovingly kneaded the dough for the bread for her husband’s supper that evening. He had to work late. Or, Kelly without a word, did her husband’s laundry because he had to pull another all nighter at the factory. I imagine him with rough, firm hands, strong but tender. Soft as a whisper, gentle as doves. He walks through the door later when it’s dark. A tall, dark, handsome shadowed figure, moving towards me as I sit in the candle-lit living room. He’s got circles under his eyes, cherry faced, stocky build. He loosens his tie, unbuttons the top two buttons of his shirt and sighs, relieved to see me. “Tired, babe?” I ask with a smile. “Supper’s in the crock pot waiting for you. Tell me about your day.”
Apparently, I can only write in third person for so long, as marriage has not touched me yet. So, in the best way I know how, I prepare for what might come later in life. I’m certainly not promised marriage, no. But we serve a King who delights and specializes in seeming impossibilities. The Proverbs 31 woman is an excellent model in preparation for marriage! Proverbs 31 reads,
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”
She’s a keeper of the home, a saver of money. She does not gossip or sit idle. She’s a hard worker, early to rise, late to bed. She excels in the gifts and talents God gave her. Perhaps she sews or knits. Maybe she writes. We don’t know. We do know that she honors her husband, and through her devout honor to her husband, she honors God. Her actions, her servant’s heart, is her testament. She chooses her words wisely.
“The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly” (Proverbs 18:8).
She’s careful, calm and collected. She’s not easily swayed. She thinks before she speaks,an excellent virtue.
To be honest, as I sit here on my bed listing out all these virtues the Proverbs 31 woman had and how she displayed them toward her husband, I’m humbled. You see, we’re not promised marriage, yet we still have a responsibility to model the Proverbs 31 character in the best way we’re able. Maybe that’s choosing to have a servant’s heart as we go to work every day or choosing humility instead of pride as we interact with family. If Jesus took the towel and washed his disciples’ feet, shouldn’t we strive for the same attitude as singles or as married women? Take up the towel; choose to serve.
“He riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself. After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded” (John 13:4-5).
Jesus is the perfect model and example as to how we should operate in marriage, in singleness and in life in general.
To be honest, I don’t know when — or if — I’ll walk down the aisle. But I do know that one of the keys to a happy husband/happy wife and selfless husband/selfless wife, is servanthood. So what are we doing to strive for this kind of attitude? What needs to change? Look to Jesus. He never married Himself, but he set the ideal example. Marriage will never be perfect. It will challenge you in more ways you could ever imagine. Someday when it’s my turn, as I slowly walk down the aisle, I want to be ready to say, “To have to hold. To love and cherish. To serve, all the days of my life”
Kelly Beth has been a connoisseur of coffee shops, since grade school, and a writer of words for the past twenty. When she's not writing devotionals or fiction, she enjoys video games, and spending time with friends and family. You can read more of her writing at kellydetzel.com