Dancing on My Own, but Looking Up
Being a ballerina for ten-ish years, I have plenty of waltz-turning experience. But waltzing around the dancefloor with a guy? Nope. I only dream of the day I will waltz around the dancefloor with a guy and not sit on the sidelines watching the couples sway to the melody.
I was a bunhead back in the day and loved every minute of it. I especially loved a good waltz turn! I have danced but never been dancing. There is a difference. When you dance you stand alone, but dancing, you are in another’s arms. It’s uncommon to find a girl waiting on God’s best when it comes to the guy she could spend the rest of her life with. It’s more normal to find a chick who dates around and lost her virginity four guys ago. That’s not me; I am waiting for God’s ultimate best. I’m not settling for a good time; I’m waiting for a man after God’s own heart.
Doing ballet for years, I learned many things. It is an experience I don’t take for granted. Among the things I learned, not looking down is one of them. It doesn’t matter what step you are doing; it could be as simple as walking around in a circle while wearing pointe shoes. You will fall when you look down. If you don’t know anything about ballet, pointe is a level of ballet that requires you to wear shoes that allow you to dance on your toes. Just Google ballet pointe and you will see what I am talking about. If you keep your chin up, you will be able to keep dancing. But once your eyes are taken off the other dancer, it’s the beginning of the end. You might end up sitting on the stage floor and the other dancers asking if you are okay. That’s a true story. My first and last pointe dance.
Dancing taught me, If you look up, you won’t fall.
The same is true in life. If you keep your eyes looking around you, you could fall… fall into temptation and sin, or comparison and cliches. There are so many distractions in the world today, too many things vying for your time, money, and attention. I understand that there are times when you need to look away from the hate, injustice, and evil in the world. But look up and you won’t fall.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”
-Hebrews 12:1-2
When you lock eyes with Jesus, even if you stumble, He will not let you fall. You are holding His victorious right hand and you will be able to stand against whatever comes against you.
“Fear not, for I am with you… I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” -Isaiah 41:10
And…
“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
”-Romans 8:31 ESV
Our enemies flee when God is on our sideline. Keeping our eyes up, we are less susceptible to fall. Looking down, might mean settling and we don’t want that. Let’s rise above that and keep doing our solo dance and before you know it, he will come along.
I long for the day when I will be dancing through life with a man. Until that day comes, here I am dancing on my own.
I was telling my best friend that it feels like I am entering a new season and honestly, I am not sure how I feel about that. I have been walking this well-worn path of singleness for the past decade and have kind of gotten used to doing life on my own. On one hand, I long to be in a relationship with a man, but on the other, I enjoy my independence and being able to go do things on a whim. I don’t have to let someone know before I go ziplining, I just do it. In this next season, I know I will be thankful for the years I spent in singleness.
But it is so easy for you to walk through singleness and feel like no one sees you. I know that feeling. You’re out there just dancing on your own, dying for someone to notice you. Let me encourage you with the words of my best friend,
“People see you.”
More importantly, guys see you. I know singleness is hard, but guys are noticing you. Last year, I was just wanting one guy and I had like three who showed interest in me. And as great as that may sound, the thing that scares me about this possible new dating season is I have no idea how to operate it. I am twenty-six and I have not been on a date. I don’t know how to act on a date. There is not a YouTube video I can watch that will tell me how to act on a date. But I believe that if God is leading me to this new season, He will equip me for it.
“With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.”-Mark 10:27 ESV
Doing the dating or not dating dance… can all be a struggle. Either way, let’s keep looking up. One of the hardest things for me to do as a single woman is going to weddings. I don’t have anyone to dance with.