When You Wish You Were More Like You Used To Be
I always have mixed feelings when I look back over my photo collection from the past decade. Facebook always seems to be able to pick out and share some good times that are memorable moments to remember. I love to reminisce over all the wonderful changes that have taken place in my life and I feel blessed to see how far I have come.
On the other hand, I have to admit, I also feel a twinge of sadness. What I see is a more energetic, youthful, two sizes smaller me, which sometimes, I do long for. I see someone with potential; someone who has goals and dreams that she desires to fulfill within a couple of years. It is not that I am unhappy in the now, but thinking back on how I used to be — feeling motivated to do something significant and to make something of myself — can make me feel a tad envious of the ‘past’ me. But although these are things which can make me feel a certain type of way, I need to continue to remind myself that the ‘now me’ is just as important and I need to celebrate her too.
The author of Ecclesiastes 3:1 writes, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens…” The great thing about looking back at a particular time in our lives is that we are able to recognize where God was working in and out every situation that we went through. In order to get to where we are in our life today, we had to go through and experience certain situations in a particular season. And although that time has gone and past, the memory still remains, lessons are learned, and we are able to gain insight into how we can grow more into our true authentic selves.
Everything happens for a reason because God ordains or allows it to be. Each season is different and brings forth new challenges and experiences, and we must understand this is the way God wills for things to be. We may very well wish for a time that once was, however, it would only be relevant to then because the ‘now’ we are currently living is full of the new and designed by God for this particular time.
A lot has happened within a short space of time, and over the years, I definitely have changed. Since becoming a mother, I have discovered more about myself and who I am not only as a parent but also a woman of God who is authentically created to be a part of the body of Christ. I may not be the person I used to be, and quite frankly, most probably never will be. However, the place where I am today is one which I know God has purposely planned, and although I may not understand everything that is happening now, I can be reassured God’s intentions are for my good and His glory. I am in my element, and it is God who is orchestrating this — and every — part of my story.
It can be difficult to come to grips with the changes that take place over the course of our lives, however, we as God’s children need not fear, but only embrace. As Christians, we we have a purpose-driven life, and we are to reflect and live out authentic lives for His glory. Three key ways we are able to better embrace this approach is:
Knowing Christ is intimate
“For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of His son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.” -Romans 8:29
Aim to strive and live as Christ did and to reflect His love into a world of brokenness and sin.
Know the light of Christ and live in it
As Christians, we are to live in the light of Christ’s goodness and to be aware of His powerful presence that fulfills us and makes us worthy of His undying grace and love.
Walk in love
Alongside loving God first and foremost, we are also meant to love others around us. Love those who don’t believe. Love those who hurt you the most. Love those who are on the down and out. And love those who don’t love you back. Christ is love and forgiveness, and we are to exemplify His actions to a lost world where Christ’s love is so greatly needed. God is love, and that is something we need to share with all.
God designed us the way He intended, and although time passes and we change and evolve along the way, we are who we are meant to be. Our identity is rooted in Christ, and our authenticity celebrates the fact that we were crafted by the almighty Maker.
I may wish some days I could go back in time or be someone different other than myself, however, in doing so, I wouldn’t be living out the full potential I am called to at this particular time. God knows who I am and what I am capable of, and I need to constantly remind myself this is where I am meant to be, and that I am living out a version of me which is authentically me through and through, no matter what. So, celebrate the present you and the person who has become!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jacinda has travelled internationally spreading the word of God with her performing arts. She has a continual passion to share hope into a world of hurt and darkness, and through her story of struggle and redemption, prays that others will also come to know Gods amazing love. Jacinda was the founder of the online faith publication 'Hearts of Gold Magazine' and now currently runs the blog 'The Contented Life' - dedicated to all things relating to motherhood. She has a Bachelor in Theology, Diploma in Christian Studies, and a Certificate in Performing Arts. She is now a full-time stay at home mum to a beautiful little boy, currently residing in a small town called Thames, located in the beautiful coromandel of New Zealand.