Words to the Wise: To the Girl Looking for Acceptance
To the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.
Ephesians 1:6
We do a variety of things to try to be accepted by others. Whether it’s exercising so we can fit in with the cheerleaders, reading popular books to have something to talk about with nerds (like me!), or wearing new kicks and clothes to ingratiate ourselves with fashionistas, we all have a desire to fit in. To belong.
On one level, while it is normal to want to belong - we are social, relational beings after all - it becomes a problem when acceptance becomes the sole priority of our lives. You’ve probably seen people lose themselves in trying to fit in, trying to be popular, trying to be accepted by those around them. The sadly ironic likelihood is that those who are popular don’t even care about those who are trying to be like them.
So we have a dilemma: we want to be accepted, but we make the idol of acceptance our god. What are we to do?
This is where the good news of the gospel comes in. The desire of acceptance is at its root a desire to be made right, to be justified before somebody. This desire comes from God. How do I know?
God is holy, meaning He is perfect and totally other than us, in a category all His own. But he is also close, and He desires a relationship with us. Hence, he walked with Adam and Eve in the Garden (Genesis 3:8). When Adam and Eve did not fall into sin, they were accepted by God as His perfect creations.
But when they did, a rift opened between the divine and them. No longer could we be accepted by God as we were, for holiness - purity, goodness and beauty - cannot be mixed with sin. Thus began the journey of looking to other, lesser, finite things for the human hope of acceptance.
But God. God the Father loved the Son before He created the world, and after Jesus was baptized by John, God said, “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased” (John 17; Matthew 3:17). At the transfiguration, God again calls Jesus his beloved Son (Mark 9:7).
And it is because of Jesus that we can be accepted by God once again. When Jesus is talking to the Samaritan woman in John 4, he describes himself as the gift from God (John 4:10). In dying on the cross and rising from the dead, Jesus extends God’s grace - His generosity - to mankind, because He reconciles us back to God.
All who place their faith and trust in Him are then accepted by God - and this beautiful gift of grace fills the hole, ultimately, of love in our hearts. This reminds me of what John the Baptist says about Jesus in John 3:35: “The Father loves the Son, and has given all things into His hand.”
God the Father gave Jesus as a gift, to you, and Jesus is never going to cast you out (John 6:37). In return, Jesus gives you a gift: the gift of security, of knowing that you are accepted by Him in the beloved.
So to the girl striving for acceptance - lay your burden down at the foot of the cross. Believe that Christ died for you because He loved you with an everlasting love, and He was gracious to you for doing so. Believe that He rose again; confess him as your master and savior, and you will be saved.
Salvation is a gift that produces others. One of them is the wonderful gift of acceptance by God. May you hear the words, “This is my beloved daughter; with her I am well pleased,” sung over you today (Zephaniah 3:17).
Discussion Questions
How is your view of God changed by the fact that He is love, and has loved the Son for eternity?
How does it make you feel that through Jesus, you can be accepted by God?
What is one thing you want to do this week to remind yourself that you are beloved by God?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ozi Ojukwu is a girl wildly in love with Jesus. A recent graduate of Cedarville University, she is a 2022 Colson Fellow, having learned about the fundamentals of a Christian worldview and how it connects to all of public life. She is a first-generation Nigerian-American and loves writing poetry and music, dabbles in photography, and is obsessed with popular culture. A bookworm to the core, she loves reading both historical fiction and memoirs. Her favorite verse is Romans 1:16.