When Life Gets Messy
No one - no one - can honestly say their life is perfect. No matter how the social media posts read or what the pictures look like; no life is perfect. Now, some people invite in more (emotional) mess than others, but even so, no one has a ¨mess-free¨ life. We live in a fallen world.
Financial stress, work or school issues, relationships being tested and stretched - all these things can cause chaos in our lives. I understand. I certainly feel frustrated and overwhelmed at times. Who hasn’t felt this way at some point? Even small things, such as needing to get the laundry done, cleaning the house, going to the grocery store, or paying bills can all add up.Then, at some point, your day just feels “messy.”
However messy your life feels right now, there are several lessons we can learn from life´s challenging situations.
First, we get to control how we act and how we respond to things. You feel stressed? Something or someone upset you? You control how you respond to the situation. I get it - sometimes I have to whisper the name of Jesus ten times to myself before I respond. And you know what? That’s okay. God actually wants us to rely on Him for strength.
2 Corinthians 12:10 (NIV) says, “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” In Psalm 121:1-2 (NIV), scripture tells us, “I lift up my eyes to the mountains - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”
To expand this idea, when you control your actions and words, you cannot control others. It is biologically impossible. While some may find it noble to attempt to fix situations, that is not your job. I have firsthand experience of trying to fix a situation in my family, at work, or with friends, only to make matters worse.
After (several) lessons in this area, I have come to realize I can only control myself, no matter how good my intentions are. The story of Hannah and Peninnah is a terrific example (which I wrote about here). Although Peninnah mocked Hannah, Hannah understood she could only control her own actions and words. She also went to the Lord with her worries and woes of her situation.
1 Corinthians 6:12 (NIV) says, “I have the right to do anything,” you say - but not everything is beneficial.”
Unless you were directly involved, meaning you need to apologize or address something you said, we are exhorted to rely on God to fix things. Remember, God is in control. He knows what is going on, he can manage things, and he can fix messes much better than any of us.
Hebrews 11:1 (NIV) - “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”
Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV) - “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you (. . .)”
It is tempting to rely on ourselves during times like these and forget about God. Or to get so entangled in a situation, it’s only when we stop and breathe that we think to pray and bring God into the mess. The song called Prophesy Your Promise by Bryan & Katie Torwalt has lyrics that sing:
Verse 1
“I found you in the middle of my mess
You had been there all along
Open arms and open heart, You called me in
You didn’t hesitate at all”
Verse 2
“You set a table in the middle of my war
You knew the outcome of it all
When what I faced looked like it would never end
You said, watch the giants fall”
God knows what is happening, even before you did. God knows the outcome and the end of the story, even before you will. We may have plans for ourselves, but it is the Lord’s purpose that will prevail (Proverbs 19:2 NIV). He will make everything beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV). Do not put limits on Him or think you are more intelligent, more compassionate, more loving, or more resourceful than Him.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Lastly, keep yourself close to God. If we stay in consistent communication with God, life most likely will not seem as messy, even if your life is a total wreck. We find our identity, our grounding, and our stability in God - not in our circumstances. Then, you might act more like Elsa from the movie Frozen and “let it go.”
Remember, your life is not perfect. Neither is anyone else’s. Bring God into your mess, He has been there all along.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Whitney can be described by the opening lyrics of a few Tom Petty songs. She's a good girl who grew up in a small Indiana town who loves her mama, Jesus, and America, too. She practices medicine as a physician assistant at an urgent care, and is a certified health coach. Whitney is a music enthusiast and leads worship at her church. She has a heart for people, and wants to help young girls and women find their worth in Christ rather than what the world says of them. Whitney loves a good dad joke, Southern manners, holistic wellness, attempting macrame crafts, and hiking and traveling with her husband, Alex, and their dog, Milly.