Marriage Is Not Happily Ever After... Not In This World
So you think you are ready to get married. Then be prepared to guard your heart like never before (Proverbs 4:23). Be obedient to strip down every ounce of pride that hides in the shadows of your heart (James 4:10). Be ready to fight, to be tried, and to be tempted (Hebrews 4:15).
Because this world is not our home (Hebrews 13:14) and something as heavenly as marriage is not going to be an easy covenant to keep anywhere outside of heaven’s gates.
Marriage is a reminder that God’s goodness is for His people who keep His covenant (Psalm 31:19). It’s a charge to lay yourself down every single day (Philippians 2:3). Marriage is God’s plan for purity (Hebrews 13:4).
I knew this before I married my husband and before I ever met him. However, once I said, “I do” and eternally committed myself to my husband, more attacks came to my mind and my heart.
If you are in a covenant marriage, have you ever felt attacked? Have you been surprised that although you are married, the world toils with your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs?
If the answer is yes, this should not be surprising. Marriage is not our protection, rather Christ is, in whom marriage is founded and built upon.
Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.
I would like to clarify that marriage itself is not designed to be hard. Rather, it is marriage in this world that is hard. Living in a world that wants to continually wreck the promise and the purity given to us by God (1 Peter 5:8) — this is what makes marriage trying.
We must keep our eyes on Christ (Hebrews 12:2) and remind ourselves that we have a piece of heaven here on Earth through the immense blessing of marriage. Marriage is designed to be nourishing, blissful, and gratifying.
I will never forget coming back from my honeymoon. My husband and I took a road trip from Santa Fe, New Mexico to the Grand Canyon in Arizona. The beauty of our honeymoon was that it was just us. Real life was shut out for ten long days and our attention and affection was only for one another. It wasn’t perfect, but we grew together as the enormity of the promise of marriage settled in.
When we got home from our honeymoon and returned to our workplaces, the stresses of simply living in this world — the challenges, struggles, and hard conversations — began to rise to the surface. There was a new balance to find and a new identity to defend in marriage.
Imperfect people marrying in a fallen world will never be easy. As Christians, it is important that we believe first in the spiritual promises of God by faith. We hear God’s voice (Hebrews 4:7), we know the peace that settles in our hearts (Philippians 4:7), and we believe although we do not see Him (Hebrews 11:1).
Once the spiritual belief takes root, it settles in our hearts (Colossians 3:15) and God’s physically tangible promise comes last (Mark 4).
I strongly urge you, both single and married readers, to go back to the scriptural references listed. Write them down, meditate on them, pray through them.
If you are waiting for your husband, guard your heart now and always. Pray for protection from impurity, and trust in God’s timing. Remember, believe first in the spiritual; this is where God’s promises are first birthed.
If you are married, take the covenant of marriage more seriously than you think you should. Marriage is of God and is very spiritual, therefore, it must be tenaciously protected. Ask God to test your thoughts and search your heart daily. You are part of a sacred and holy commitment; guard it fiercely. Pray with your husband daily that you may protect your marriage together and be a union that ultimately glorifies God.
Marriage may not be happily ever after on Earth, but the love in marriage that exemplifies Christ is our promise of an eternity with the One who seeks our hearts.
My soul yearns, yes, even pines and is homesick for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out and sing for joy to the living God.
A Prayer for Spiritual Battles in Marriage
Gratitude
Thank You, God, for putting my husband in my life. Thank You for bringing us together. I’m grateful that my husband is an answer to the cries of my heart. I’m thankful that my husband is a large part of the plan You have for me. (2 Corinthians 9:15)
Release of pride
Father, I lay down my pride before You today and ask that You relinquish and reveal any pride in my heart. I trust You. I know that You gave me Your best for me. Your Ways are so much higher than mine. (Proverbs 29:23)
For my husband
Jesus, I pray for my husband: continue to build him up, continue to guide him as he guides me. Please give him visions and direction for our future. Protect our marriage from all attacks of the enemy, in Your Name. (James 5:16)
How do you fight spiritual battles in marriage?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kirstyn is a Pennsylvania native living in West Palm Beach, Florida with her sweet husband Joseph and two white and grey cats Caspian and Shasta. Kirstyn loves asking questions, watching thunderstorms, drinking yerba mate tea, reading lyrics, and listening to music; yet, she loves the sounds of silence even more in the presence of her Savior. Kirstyn is currently studying for her Masters in Social Work to answer the call of international adoption and orphanage work on her heart. Follow her on Instagram: @the.sun.in.my.eyes.