How We See Ourselves as Daughters of the King
How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD of hosts! Psalm 84:1 (ESV)
As women, we are so hard on ourselves. We are quick to critique our hair, our nails, our weight, our clothes, and our height. Hopefully, we aren’t this way with other people, but for ourselves? Yes, we are all too quick to be critical.
I was having a moment like this just last week. I had probably been on social media and the girl whose story I was watching on Instagram is a size nothing with great hair and the cutest family you’ve ever seen, and I was struck with the thought, “If only I was her size, instead of the size I am right now.” And almost immediately, the lyrics, and Psalm 84:1 jumped into my train of thoughts. The song is actually called, Better is One Day by Matt Redman, but the first line in the song is this bible verse I just mentioned.
And then, I had this thought—the Holy Spirit doesn’t dwell in an earthly temple, He dwells within me, and this verse struck a chord with me on this topic. Almost immediately, I thought of another verse about our bodies.
Don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought at a price. So glorify God with your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (CSB)
Imagine how He must see us, as His daughters who reflect His image. He does see us as lovely, as beautiful, and as perfect!
By the way, when this sort of thing happens, when a verse just randomly pops into your mind, I believe with all my heart that it’s the Holy Spirit in us quickening us to remember His word. When you read all throughout Psalm 119, over and over about the word of God and how we are to meditate on it and remember it, that’s just proof to me that what I think is true. (Side note—did you know that every single verse in Psalm 119 talks about the word of God? Read it for yourself!)
On this particular day, after having those critical thoughts and thinking on those verses that jumped into my mind and heart, I thought about how common it is for women everywhere to have this way of thinking, and I thought I’d share some action steps for when you are being extra critical of yourself.
The first and most important thing we can do is to stop what we’re doing right away and pray. I love to pray these verses:
For although we live in the flesh, we do not wage war according to the flesh, since the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but are powerful through God for the demolition of strongholds. We demolish arguments and every proud thing that is raised up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to obey Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5, CSB.
Often times I will pray and ask the Lord to help me live out those verses I just wrote for you, and I thank Him for reminding me that my way of thinking is just another tactic from the enemy. And I will say to the Lord, “Lord, the enemy has no place in my life, and I rebuke him in the name of Jesus.” We need to remember to try and take every thought captive and obedient to the Lord Jesus. I stop thinking about what I’m feeling, and I start thinking about what I know about God: that He is faithful, that He is loving, that He is our creator God who created the first human being by breathing His breath into the nostril of Adam. When I do this, I gain perspective.
I ask the Lord to remind me of how He sees me, and if I’ve not been doing my part at keeping my body healthy by putting junk food into it and being too lazy, then I repent of those things and ask Him to forgive me and to change me. I’ll also ask Him to help me to want to be healthier. Because really, it’s not about a size that we are, but it’s whether or not we are properly nourishing and caring for our bodies. I will be quick to confess to you that I am very guilty of this.
I might also ask the Lord to help me in how I view people on social media, and to help me to not be a jealous person. I want to be excited for people, I don’t want to envy them!
The next thing we can do right then is to get off of whatever social media outlet it was that triggered that way of thinking. I am guilty of this, too, and I will sometimes just keep scrolling. I’ll get up and busy myself in the kitchen, I’ll start cleaning something, or I’ll pick up a book and read, if I’m at home. If I’m somewhere where I can’t do any of those things, I’ll just pray quietly in my head, or I’ll go into a bathroom somewhere for a few minutes to just be alone and then to try to get out of my own thoughts.
If the one true and holy God sees us as lovely, then we should all really try not to complain about our bodies or symptoms. I know you know someone who does this, and how miserable is it to be around them? I know someone who complains all the time about sickness, or about how she looks. Though those are real things in her mind and enough so for her to voice them, I do think that we need to be careful of not doing that too much. Because we all have days and moments like this, when nothing we wear looks right, we don’t feel great, our hair isn’t cooperating and so on—but instead of grumbling and complaining, have we stopped to pray about it, instead? I am guilty of this too, sometimes, so I don’t say this lightly. Imagine if, when we feel all the emotions, we pray something like this: “Lord, I am sorry for these thoughts I am having right now about myself. You created me, and I know you love me just as I am, but I know I should also make keeping this temple of your Holy Spirit healthy one of my priorities. Please help me to do that, Lord, and please help me to WANT to do that.”
I think if we were to stop and pray something along those lines right then that a couple of things would happen.
First, I think that the enemy will flee. You read that right. I think sometimes when we have these types of thoughts, that it is the enemy messing around with us. I never want to give him too much credit, but I think often times, we don’t give him enough. Our minds, our feelings, and our emotions are all ways that he loves to toy with us. Don’t let him!
Secondly, I think that when we pray out loud like that, it’s like the Lord realigns our thinking. When we stop to give Him praise and to thank Him, that is a reality check and it puts things into perspective for us. It’s similar to thinking positively—instead of focusing on all the bad, look at all the good. This is one reason why, every so often, I sit and write out a bunch of things I am thankful to God for.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy—dwell on these things. Philippians 4:8 (CSB)
We are all human beings, and we all live in this beautiful world that once was perfect, but then became sinful because of one choice that Eve made all the way back in the garden - in Genesis chapter three. From time to time, we are all going to struggle in our self-image or in our thoughts. But the Lord has provided a way out for us, in His holy word. Don’t just take my word for this, though, test it for yourself. Pick up your Bible today and read for yourself. I know that you when you do that, you will be encouraged.
A closing prayer: Lord, thank you for your word. Thank you for showing me this over the years, and for reminding me of all of this from time to time. We are human and we struggle with things daily, Lord, but you are right there with us, when we call out to you. You love us and you care for us, and you want us to cast all our cares and burdens on you. So we do that right now, Lord. Remind us of who you are, and remind of us the fact that we belong to you. Help us to see ourselves as daughters of the living God not just today, but every day of our lives. We love you, Lord, and ask this in your strong name. Amen.