How To Deal With Criticism
“One thing you could work on is . . .” “What if next time you . . .” “It would’ve been better if . . .” These are just some of the phrases that instantly make me cringe and break out in a sweat.
Let’s be real--most of us don’t like criticism. As a struggling perfectionist, I personally hate it when someone tells me I’m doing something wrong. I have a tendency to focus on the negative, even if 90% of the feedback was positive. Because no matter how true the words may be, criticism often leaves me feeling like a failure. But I’ve learned from experience that without a healthy dose of criticism, we can’t grow.
In fact, Proverbs 15:31–32 says, “If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.”
So, what about helpful criticism? How do we gracefully accept correction and grow from it, especially in the workplace?
Here are a few ways to help you deal with criticism as a Christian:
Ask for specific feedback
They say to be unclear is to be unkind. And the same goes for feedback. If a leader or a coworker only offers vague comments like “You didn’t do that right” or “That’s not going to work,” they aren’t doing you any favors.
So, instead of letting those comments send you into a tailspin of wondering what you did wrong, ask for clarity. “Can you be more specific?” or “What do you think would have been a better solution?” are some questions to help you turn that feedback into useful action steps.
Take what’s helpful and leave the rest
Proverbs 27:6 says, “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.” But not all criticism is helpful or needed. And being able to separate constructive criticism from just-plain meanness will help you handle feedback better. So, when someone critiques you or your work, take a moment and ask yourself if what they’re saying is worth taking to heart.
Do you already have a trusted relationship with the person giving the feedback? Is this person personally involved in the project or do they have the related expertise to weigh in on the topic? Is the opinion spoken from a place of love or a place of jealousy? Are they critiquing your character, instead of your work?
Make note of the comments that can actually help you move forward, then ditch the rest.
Set boundaries
Just because criticism helps us grow, it doesn’t mean we need to be reminded 24/7 of what we’re doing wrong. If you feel like the criticism is creating a toxic work environment, maybe you need to set some boundaries around how you receive feedback. This may look like saving questions and comments for after a presentation or having a designated time to check in with your leader about your performance. Your team could also set a rule that for every piece of negative feedback given, you also have to say something uplifting.
And if you have that one coworker who just loves to point out what’s wrong all the time, maybe you have a conversation with him/her about their communication style. Remember, criticism can be helpful, but it can also be harmful if it’s used as a weapon. Don’t be afraid to set some boundaries.
Have an attitude of learning
If you act like you know everything, criticism will wound your pride real fast. But having a student mindset helps you be more open to feedback. There’s a difference between being confident in your role and being blind to the areas you can grow in.
Approaching each project or situation with curiosity and the knowledge that you don’t know everything allows you to see the value in others’ input. It’s humbling, for sure, but it also keeps you from getting defensive when someone points out something you may have missed.
Give yourself some grace
Nobody’s perfect. And even those you think have it all together have their own weaknesses. The truth is, we will always be learning and growing. Since criticism will continue to be a part of our lives, it’s important that we figure out how to navigate feedback at work and in life.
But remember, you are not your work. Your identity is ultimately in Christ. So, let go of the need to be perfect and allow God to teach you and grow you. The more grace you have for yourself, the more you can show that same grace to others.
As it says in Ephesians 4:15, may we “speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.”
In what ways do you struggle with accepting criticism at work?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Abbie is a native Mississippian who now calls Nashville, TN home. She works as a writer for Ramsey Solutions and enjoys reading, traveling, laughing, and playing with her corgi, Eudora, in her spare time. You can find more of her writing at abbiewalker.com.