Forgive and Forget: 1 Corinthians 13:5
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
People like to say that they will “forgive but not forget”, as though forgiving and forgetting are mutually exclusive. This was the attitude of the people of the church of Corinth. Paul wrote to the Corinthian church because they chose to sue each other rather than resolve their differences.
Their hearts had become hardened against each other, holding onto the wrongs they perceived were done against them. They chose conflict over forgiveness and forgot the power of Christ’s forgiveness in their lives.
As a result, their actions were creating division within the body of Christ. Paul’s words about love, so often taken as “wedding” verses, carry a powerful message not to be dismissed as “pretty language”.
When I was a teenager, I saw this happen firsthand in my church when certain leaders prioritized individual power and prestige over unity and selflessness. They used perceived wrongs to call a vote to dismiss our pastor.
Thankfully, over 95% of our congregation voted in favor of keeping our pastor, who is still to this day, a man of God. When their plans failed, the church members who lost the vote left, carrying with them all the Bibles and Hymn books they had donated through the years.
This memory has stayed with me through the years. So, when I read about the divisions in the Corinthian church, I understand the kind of devastation that can happen to a body of believers when people aren’t willing to forgive and forget. It has also given me a deeper appreciation for the kind of loving forgiveness that comes from Christ.
We have all had a fight with someone during our lives. I can’t even begin to count how many fights my siblings and I had growing up. When we fight with others, we tend to think that we are right, and the other person is wrong. It is often all too easy to blame the other person and not take accountability for our own words or actions.
How many times have you thought, if only they didn’t say what they did, I wouldn't have said what I did. Or perhaps, it’s important that I help them see the error of their ways. These statements and many more like them usually come from selfish justification, rather than being from pure motives. As believers, how we choose to love others should always be guided by the word of God.
And we find the loving and forgiving nature of God all over the Bible:
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
‘I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.’ Isaiah 43:25
Regardless of our wrongs against God, we will always be forgiven when we come to him. It doesn’t say that God is only faithful if we are faithful. It doesn’t say that he cleanses us unless our hearts are too dirty; and it certainly doesn’t say that if we confess, he will remind us of all our previous sins and failures.
He gives complete forgiveness, stemming from the pure and powerful love he has for us. And like himself, we are meant to love like God, and gives us clear directions about what love is, as well as what it isn’t.
While part of the book of Isaiah focuses on the disobedience of the Israelites, another section joyfully highlights the hope of the Savior. In this one book, we see loss and recovery, disobedience and redemption, captivity and freedom.
We see that God was faithful to his word, regardless of the repeated disobedience of the Israelites. In this one verse, we see a clear demonstration of how God himself, who is love, keeps no records of wrongs. He remembers sins no more and will always be faithful to his word!
Like the Israelites, we have disobeyed God, repeatedly. Yet, in both the Old and New Testaments, scripture shows us that we can look to God and his faithfulness for comfort and guidance. It is not only important, but crucial to know that God’s forgiveness is not based on us, our intentions, our perceptions, or our actions.
There is no brokenness he can not mend. There is no shame that he can’t wipe clean. There is no sin too great that he won’t forgive.
Like the church members at Corinth, we have also probably refused to forgive someone who has hurt or wronged us. When we hold onto hurts, our hearts become hardened, not just to others, but also to the working of the Holy Spirit. The selfish actions of the Corinthians and their refusal to forgive each other affected the work of the entire church body and the solidarity of their relationships.
When actions are not made in love, relationships can be damaged. When we prioritize being right over being kind and patient, we are not showing the kind of love God calls us to. In essence, when we choose to be unforgiving and hold onto hurts, we are saying that our ways are better than God’s.
When we keep a list of wrongs rather than forgive others, we negate the strength and power of the forgiveness we have in Christ.
I am so glad that God does not forgive me based on anything I do or say. His forgiveness always comes because of his faithfulness and the love he has for me. I rejoice that he cleanses me from my sins and blots out my transgressions. Only God can do that. Finally, I am thankful that God does not keep a list of my wrongs but instead, he chooses to forgive and forget.
Reflection:
Is there someone in your life who you have a hard time forgiving?
Have you held onto hurt because of the actions of others?
Have you seen how having an unforgiving heart can affect relationships?
Application:
If you are holding onto hurt, ask God to help you forgive.
If you are seeing other relationships that have been split apart, pray that walls may be broken down.
If there is a relationship that needs mending, ask God to give you the heart and the words to repair the broken relationship.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Although she grew up on the beach in SC and lived in mountains of CO, Andrea loves living in GA more than anywhere else since that is where she lives with her husband, John. She has a passion for reading anything she can get her hands on, especially books about Art History and Christian Apologetics. Andrea herself will tell you how little she knows, and how, as she gets older, she forgets a lot of what she did know. However, she knows that God offers a peace beyond understanding, his timing is perfect, and he works all things for his glory. In this season of life, she is experiencing the blessings of marriage, as well as the newness of God’s healing and restoration. She enjoys sharing her life and the Word of God through writing for Tirzah and hopes that lives and hearts will be touched through her words