Being You, Not Your Job
CONGRATULATIONS! You just landed your dream job. You’re going to dive in and start changing the world one [insert your primary task] at a time. There’s a post on your Instagram and Facebook. All of your friends know. Maybe you go out to celebrate with your family - sushi, anyone? A trip to the mall to pick out a few key wardrobe pieces and you’re good to go. Everything has fallen perfectly into place. Like - so perfectly.
Flash forward a few months. Maybe six months. Maybe a year. That friend who helped you pick out the perfect blazer at the mall? You haven’t seen her in a few months/six months/a year. Anytime you get together with your family, you’re constantly double-checking email on your phone and the only conversation topic that interests you is the one where you get to talk about all of the important things you’re doing at your job and how it consumes all of your time. Your Instagram feed is just a series of photos featuring the coffee you pick up on your way to work and the take-out food you pick up on your way home.
You might still go to church on the weekends, but it’s mostly about checking a box. In your spare time, you’re consumed with thoughts about what you did at work the past few days, and what you need to accomplish before the end of the quarter. And by this point in time, your value is attached to those accomplishments.
Once you’ve invested yourself in work, it’s hard to find anything else that seems fulfilling. So, you just invest yourself even more. All of your time, energy, and purpose is planted in what you do during those work hours. You laugh at the idea of boundaries because everything in your life has just run together into one mass. There’s no longer a separation between who you are and what the work is. The only value you have is in what you accomplish.
STEP. AWAY. FROM. THAT LIE.
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. -1 Peter 2:9-10
My friend, God believes that you have value...and it has absolutely nothing to do with your job. Or your title. Or a checklist. So how do you remind your heart of that value?
Set aside time for something outside of work.
Once upon a time, you found joy in something besides work. Maybe it was dancing or cooking or going to the movies. Find a way to to block off time to pursue that.
For me, that was being outside. When I first started the job, rock climbing and hiking (even on the weekend) were mildly stressful because I was afraid that my boss would need something. And once - sitting at the base of a cliff - I struggled to open up the design app on my phone and give the final “go ahead” on promo materials for an event that was a month away. This was when I was part-time!!!
Eventually I realized that my tendency to disappear into the woods could be used to my advantage. When I was hiking, no one could get to me. And that meant that all of my hiking, camping, climbing excursions were completely free from work. Those moments - even though I wasn’t “producing” - had immeasurable value.
Surround yourself with people who remind you of your value.
...in very blatant ways. Your friends and family value you. They might be proud of your work and impressed (especially your parents); but at the end of the day, your happiness and well-being is more important.
One Friday night - after a trying week- I was making dinner. I pulled off a piece of parchment paper to line a baking sheet and it fell to the floor (parchment paper is very flighty). I quickly followed it to the floor and started bawling. Without even realizing it, I had come to the end of my ability to cope with anything. My roommate, without missing a beat, texted the people who expected to see me the next day and told them I was unavailable. She saw that I had been going too hard for too long and lost sight of what I needed in life. She made me slow down long enough to regain a bit of that.
Make sure that the people in your life will help you slow down when you lose sight of who you are in Christ. You need people who will redirect you towards what matters.
Find music that feeds your soul.
This seems like such an insignificant thing. But it matters. Seriously.
When you’ve had a long day at work and you’re about to drive home and work for two more hours, you don’t want to get into your car and listen to talk radio. Maybe you need some Lizzo or some Elevation Worship or Judah & the Lion. Something is going to prepare you for whatever’s next...find what works for you in each situation.
I use to have a playlist just for the days when we hosted big events (3-4 per year). Every time I got in my car to go run a last-minute errand that my boss tossed to me, instead of getting grouchy...I got excited! That playlist made all the difference in the world.
Not sure how to find new music? Surely you have a music savvy friend. Let them know you need some suggestions. Maybe they’ll even make you a playlist. (Or you can ask me...I have some favorites.)
Meditate on scripture.
For each season of my life, God’s given me some very clear Scripture. When I was struggling with work, here’s what he gave me:
Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. -2 Corinthians 2:16-18
For years, that was written on a little piece of paper stuck next to my bedroom door. I saw it multiple times every day. When I felt like there was nothing left, I knew that God was renewing me. There was great comfort in that.
Maybe those verses speak to you, wherever you are now. Feel free to use them. If not, find something that does. Put it in a prominent place - next to your bed, on your bathroom mirror, on the visor in your car! Keep the Lord’s words before you.
Know when to walk away.
Yep. This isn’t something we like to talk about. You think that the dream job will eventually get easier. You’ll settle in and find some sort of work-life balance. It will all make sense and your workplace will be all hunky-dory.
That might happen. But it might not.
And if you’ve already lost your sense of self, if you no longer find value in the way that God created you, it’s time to start fighting to regain that! My friend - God loves you and so do I. He doesn’t care about the accomplishments or checklists. If you can work through this and remember how much he loves you, brilliant. Get back to the place of knowing him and stay there.
But if you can’t get back to that place, if you’re continually beating yourself up about not doing enough and falling short of expectations, if you’ve lost joy in the work, if everything seems hopeless...something has to change. Do not stay someplace that strips you of your identity in Christ.
I know that your work is important. And you’re probably working with people who are all in. You’re inspired by them and their commitment. But you are not them. You are God’s creation. You are beautiful and valued. Your happiness and well-being matters. I have no doubt that you will do amazing things. But God created you to be you. Not a job.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Mary Elizabeth spent the past six years doing life in Nashville, TN…from grad school to working in a pie shop to running after school programs. But then she got a little antsy. She’s currently in a season of “wandering”…exploring the people, tastes and experiences that the country has to offer. As she set out on this journey her hope was to engage with people in more authentic ways and to hike everything possible. If you're curious about where she is and what she's up to, visit sunsetsstormclouds.home.blog.