Moving Forward With Rejection
“You have people come into your life shockingly and surprisingly. You have losses that you never thought you'd experience. You have rejection and you have to learn how to deal with that and how to get up the next day and go on with it.” — Taylor Swift
Whether we want to admit it or not, each of us has faced the blow of rejection at some point in our lives — whether personal or professional. No one in history has been spared the bitter taste of this (Jesus included; His rejection was something else altogether! See Isaiah 53:3.) and sometimes, it can feel like a real struggle to move past it.
Recently, I wrestled with rejection in my own life. I took a step of faith in the writing world and submitted some pieces to a call-out for devotional writers for a New Zealand–based ministry. I had so many ideas of ways I could contribute to the organization but was met several weeks after submission with a “Thanks for your interest, however, you’re not quite what we’re looking for…” type email.
So rejection stung. It stung a lot more than I thought that it might, and for a little while, I allowed myself to wallow. Am I not good enough? Why did I bother? Am I kidding myself with this so-called gift of writing? A lot of questions rose up as I filed that rejection email away, and it was some time before I took a slower look at what God says about it all. How I respond to rejection is the crux of this; the last thing I want is to end up like Cain in the Old Testament! His resentment towards his personal rejection resulted in the death of his brother and the beginning of a long list of pain and suffering (see Genesis 4). Taking responsibility for my own actions and responses in light of God’s truths about rejection and what He says about me is how approaching this inevitable human experience can lead to great learning and growth opportunities instead.
The general idea is that we must “deal with rejection” — we must push ourselves to move beyond it. However, I want to challenge us to think of rejection differently, to approach this experience rather than to run from it. I want to be able to move beyond rejection, yes, but I also want to learn and grow from it. I want to be able to “get up the next day and go on with it” as Taylor so wisely says, but I also don’t want it to mean nothing when it could be the difference between me leaning into something God is teaching me and turning my back instead.
With that in mind, let’s take a look at what the Bible says about rejection and challenge ourselves, in light of these words, to approach it with an open heart and a willingness to take responsibility for our own actions.
“And finally He said to me, ‘My grace is enough to cover and sustain you. My power is made perfect in weakness.’ So ask me about my thorn, inquire about my weaknesses, and I will gladly go on and on—I would rather stake my claim in these and have the power of the Anointed One at home within me” -2 Corinthians 12:9, VOICE
Where are you experiencing the sting of rejection today? Is it in your personal life? Your professional life? Your ministry, your family, your friends? Wherever you’re feeling pushed back by something that you had hoped and thought would embrace you, God’s gift in that place is his ever-sufficient grace. Grace can be a tricky concept to grasp, so let’s break it down a little here. The word “grace” is derived from the Hebrew word chanan which ultimately indicates the state of kindness and favor towards another (you can read deeper about “grace” in Strong’s Concordance). When we put God and grace together, we actually get His graciousness — something that He is rather than something that He chooses to show us whenever it pleases Him. He is grace — in everything, He does for His creation, He does it with His grace. It is freely available, at all times and in every circumstance.
In the verse above, it says that “my grace is enough to cover and sustain you,” and because God is grace, this is an enormous blanket statement. Even in the painful sting of rejection, God extends His deep and substantial kindness and favor to us. Despite the situation, we might find ourselves in, He is present and His “power is made perfect” in the weaknesses of our human experiences. It might still hurt, and it might still feel isolating, but if we accept this gift of His grace, it can shelter us and hold us up.
The challenge in this verse comes in the second half — and it’s a big one. Paul, the author of this book, says that he wants others to ask him about his trials, pains, and sufferings — his rejections if you will. He wants to be able to talk about those weaknesses, those moments of human error, and feelings of failure because they are ultimately opportunities to speak of God’s goodness and grace. When you step outside of the hurts you’re feeling and instead focus on His kindness and favor, especially when you’re telling others of it, the pain begins to subside and your focus is redirected. You are instead laying eyes on the One who is great enough to save you regardless of circumstance.
“I will praise You because You answered me when I was in trouble.
You have become my salvation.
The stone that the builders rejected has become
the very stone that holds together the entire foundation.
This is the work of the Eternal,
and it is marvelous in our eyes.
This is the day the Eternal God has made;
let us celebrate and be happy today.
O Eternal One, save us, we beg You.
O Eternal One, we beg You, bring us success!” -Psalm 118:21-25, VOICE
I’ve given you five verses to look at here, but I recommend reading all of chapter 118 of the Psalms. The absolutely beautiful way of describing Jesus’ significance in this chapter is so encouraging!
Verse 22 specifically speaks directly of Jesus’ rejection by His people only to later turn out to be the very epitome of God’s plan. While His experience of rejection is likely to be vastly different from what you or I will encounter in our lifetimes, it is, however, where we can draw our greatest lessons on rejection. Verse 22 is sandwiched between marvelous descriptions of praising the Creator and blessing the house of the Eternal; it is not a standalone segment of the Psalms. It is all a part of the story. It is not run from or shadowed or hidden away, tucked into the pages of the Bible. It is embraced as the truth.
The wonderful thing about statements like this in verse 22 is that they are examples of how Christ experienced everything that we humans will experience. Open up Hebrews 4:15 and see where it says that Jesus was “tested in every way that we are tested” - He can relate one hundred percent to everything we experience! He was fully God and man and therefore knows exactly what it’s like to feel things — things like loneliness, rejection, joy, and love. He has been where we are and has grappled with these elements of life too, always relying on the power of His Father and coming out triumphant.
When we approach rejection, it is with this in mind. The psalmist gives us an example of how to do this too. He begins Psalm 118 with praises: “Give thanks to the Eternal because He is always good. He never ceases to be loving and kind,” starting his song with a reminder to himself of God’s great goodness, his grace upon grace, his kindness and favor — and he doesn’t end there. He continues his praises in his mentions of his sufferings too. He speaks of how he has met trouble, but God’s goodness has overcome these moments, and the praise that is on his lips is stronger and louder than any complaints of past experiences.
This is how we need to approach rejection, whether in love, work, family, or friendship. When we approach rejection with a heart of trust in God’s good grace and kindness, we will be singing His praises longer than we will be feeling the sting of that human experience. We will have our hearts, minds, and eyes drawn to His goodness towards us over anything else. And if we can gain perspective in that space too, considering Jesus’ deep rejection by His own people, we can even begin to look out at our own situations through enlightened eyes, pinpointing God’s fingerprints as He weaves everything together for His glory and our good (see Romans 8:28).
Let me assure you that I see you. I see that there is rejection and pain and hurt in your world, but I also see that God is present with His children. He is good, filled with kindness and favor towards you, and His grace is more than capable of carrying you onwards. You will learn from this experience, and you will grow from this situation if you allow yourself to be drawn closer to Him during it. It might be hard, but muster those praises that rest on your heart today and approach this rejection with open arms.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
I'm Hannah - mama to two littles and dipping my toes into my next right thing as I learn to navigate this chapter God has called me to. I generally hover in that space between consciousness and coffee as I try to take each day knowing I need grace to get through it. I'm a lover of good words, strong conversation, a well-worn thrift store and a doughy doughnut.