“Remember Lot’s wife!  Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it.” - Luke 17:32 - 33

You really couldn’t have thought the story was over...right?  

Maybe you remember me telling my Tirzah story.  

My family’s story, finding a partner to start a non - profit for the home for teen mothers, meeting a young man who was headed in the wrong direction, meeting a young man/bunch of boys who were headed in the right direction, and seeing the possibilities of a home for young men.  Well, the whole story took a different turn.

Fast forward to today, I’m sitting in the hotel of my hometown - the place Yelena (Tirzah’s Editor-in-Chief) and I first met - St. Louis.  I’m here to finally see Yelena’s long awaited wedding.  Our dreams came true.  

She is getting married and I am now executive director of a pregnancy center.  We both have Tirzah Ministries. Tirzah Magazine is officially a non - profit, and this magazine continues to have my heart - as do you readers.

However, I sadly lost the non - profit of a home for teen mothers.  The vision became skewed.  I stepped down from the board.  Jesus felt less and less the center - while pride and control felt more so.  When asked to transition to a new location, the thought of moving to a different county was crazy.  When asked to consider more leadership, the thought of less control was more scary.  The thought of asking for and receiving help is scary. 

Leaving behind the old is scary.  

Remember Lot’s wife.

The young man who was following after the Holy Spirit and pouring into young women/ everyone around him?  He lost his way.  

Instead of focusing on what God called him to, he started trying to do everyone’s callings at once.  He wanted the future, but wanted the past.  

Instead of honing on his gift, he continued to look at the past and tried to recreate it in a way he thought would be better - continuing to look to people and places he had outgrown.  Remember Lot’s wife.

Why do I say “Remember Lot’s wife”?  Because God sometimes asks us to lay down our dreams, so He can give them back to us HIS way.  I walked away from these ministries and people I loved dearly.  I felt myself and them slipping from God being center and pride/control becoming the center.

In stepping away from these dreams, I saw God give me more and more.  He saw me trying to remain faithful - as I lost people who I thought cared deeply for me and I cared deeply for.  He renewed relationships with friends and family - both old and new.  I am coming up on a year now of being executive director of a pregnancy center and it has become literally everything I dreamed it could and more - with God at the center.  We launched a couple of weeks ago for a special marketing advertisement and have already seen fruit.  The biggest piece of this story though?  

He gave me the start of my truest heart’s desires for my life.

Tirzah Ministries (magazine) became an official non - profit. Tirzah has always and will always be a part of my heart’s dreams - now we made it official.  

Since I was younger, I always wanted to have a ministry with a platform for girls.  One where I get to build up young women by writing, speaking, promoting, and publishing.  

Part of this dream was to live on a farm with a future husband who would want 100 inner city boys as well.  This sounds weird, but God has always given me this dream and anyone who meets me can see it.  I wanted to use my women’s platform to take my sons with me when I spoke, so they could see what the world offered (a good side) and know the world was open to them.  

Guess what happened?  We made Tirzah Ministries official.  The week this magazine got non - profit status was also the week I visited a special young adult’s group with my little brother.  I have a really special young man in my life that I call my “younger brother”.  He has seen a lot in his life.  We hang out just like siblings and cheer each other on.  On the night we went to that young adult group, he got to meet a musician from a band that he listened to growing up.  In one week, my dreams started coming true and in that moment I KNEW this was what I want. There will always be non - profits I’m a piece of, churches I explore, and friendships that come and go.  However, the vision for my life stays the same - pouring into you women and raising young inner city men with dreams on a farm.

One day my prayers will be realized in fruition, but that is life - a journey.  I haven’t given up on the home for teen moms, home for guys, or the people behind them.  As Yelena always says “Only God can change the heart of men (or women)”.  

I would love to pull you back into a new chapter of my life though.  The year where God said “You can look back, but only while you move forward”.  

Follow the journey that lead to this in my new series “Building bridges and burning ships”.  Come behind the scenes of what it looks like to learn to be built, honed, and shaped by ministry leaders and finding relationships that help fuel your fire - what it looks like to burn everything down to the foundation, so it can be built on His foundation.  

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Alycia Marie is a free-spirited wanderer learning to find roots. She currently resides in Milwaukee and serves the community of southeastern Wisconsin. You can typically find her outdoors, as long as it’s warm, hanging out with family/close friends and meeting soon-to-not-be strangers. In her spare time, she writes, drinks chai tea, and builds non-profits, homes, families, and people. Some people like to call it missions. She prefers well-digging.