God Is Greater Than Our Relationship Status
We all have hopes and desires for our lives, but what if we are in a season where there doesn't seem to be any opportunity for our dreams to be fulfilled? Many of us young women (including myself) are eager to find a husband and have a family. These desires rest deep inside our hearts and long to be fulfilled.
Before we move forward, if you are tired of being single and reading articles written by other single woman… I urge you to keep on reading. Now, this all may sound familiar to you. Maybe you are in a similar season and there doesn't seem to be any opportunity to become a wife and a mother. Let's dig a little deeper. And to do so, I want to share with you three possible reasons for why we may sometimes feel stuck that will prompt us to move forward in this season.
Looking Inward
God might want us to look inward at ourselves before He wants us to invest outwardly in a relationship. This doesn't mean we have to be perfect before we get married, and it doesn't guarantee that we will get married. God's ultimate goal is to bring us closer to Him. I want you to just think, God loves us so much that He is giving us space and time to draw near to Him. He wants us to experience a love and fulfillment that can only be satisfied through Him. When one is single, she has the most freedom to know God, who He has made her be and what areas she needs growth in.
So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet. James 4:7-10
Looking Upward
Don't doubt God and His ability, because He is more powerful than our circumstances. Job 42:2 says, “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” This doesn't guarantee God will bring us a husband, but it shifts our hope from being in our circumstances to being in God. It’s important to trust that God is good enough and that He loves us enough to give us good things, good relationships, and a good life without a romantic or marriage relationship.
Looking Outward
Maybe we feel like there is no one around, and we are stuck in this season of singleness because we are not putting ourselves in situations where we would meet like-minded people. It might help to ask ourselves these three questions:
How much time am I investing in my dating life?
Am I in a small group/church community with people my age?
Am I going out of my daily routine or new places to meet people?
Even with these three things kept in mind, our ultimate goal on earth isn't for marriage – it’s to show others Jesus’ love and to have a deeper relationship with Him. God wants us to know that we are more than our relationship status. Our identity isn't in our relationships (if so, we will be let down), and being in a relationship does not solve our problems (it actually has a greater potential to make them worse).
It is okay to have a desire to get married and have a family, and it's okay to feel sad about the possibility of it not happening in your future. It is natural to hope for something and to be disappointed at the idea of it not happening; that doesn't make you a bad Christian. The issue comes when we are putting our happiness/fulfillment in the idea of being a wife and mother. Yes, we are created for community and to be in union with others, but people are broken. When we put our destiny into people or the status of our relationship, it will fail us and our expectations no matter what happens.
But do you want to know something great? God gives us the opportunity to put our destiny and relationship status in His hands. Yes, there still may be pain, but God is truly good and has our best interests in mind. No matter what happens, when we give God our hopes, dreams and desires, it takes the pressure off of us and gives Him back the control of the burden we were never meant to carry. God doesn't love us because of our relationship status or the labels we use to define ourselves. He loves us because He has made us just the way He wants.
Have you entrusted your relationship status in God’s hands?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Moriah Spencer is an English Major at Nyack College. Ever since she was young she has had a passion to create, whether that be by writing a story, painting, or decorating her room. God has given her the desire to share how He has changed her life and she is excited to take readers along on her journey!