I am the master of my fate,  I am the captain of my soul.  It’s ironic how  the words of Invictus match the attitude of a former control freak. I was never in control of my life. I’d like to sit here and tell you I knew what I was doing from day one; but that’s just not true. I’d be lying. Married by twenty five! That’s funny. College graduate! Yeah, nope. “Are you engaged to him?” I am not. I deleted the marriage board off of my Pinterest years ago, thank you for asking though! Ambitions, ideas. A stroke of the paintbrush, signing on the dotted line. Striking deals. Kelly, you silly girl. If only you knew, if only you could see what God had under wraps. The undoing of the stubborn will. 

A man's heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps. Proverbs 16:9 might as well had my name etched in the margin of my Bible. Look at you, girl! 

God’s got a sense of humor though. I build these plans up with popsicle sticks and glue, hunched over quietly meticulously working away year after year. Watching the clock, gritting my teeth, tapping my feet. Gone is the glue. The popsicle sticks long since thrown away. I threw away the plans, and began clinging onto something else, hanging on for dear life.

I’m the planner, the builder of the boat. The master of my own ship, up and down goes my mysterious steamship steady flying over the crystal blue waves. Can’t you see God? I’ve got new ideas now. Maybe what I initially planned for myself as a twelve year old school girl just wasn’t in the books. And don’t ask me to pray for so and so.

But, God responds. “Kelly,” He whispers softly picking me up from perch and dusting me off. “You and your stubborn ways. You and your clenched fists ready to throw the first punch in the boxing ring. I ask you to pray for such an individual and you sneer. I ask you to prepare, so I can transition you into what I have next and you turn a stubborn cheek. Why won’t you let me finish what I started in you? Why won’t you let me complete what I began? Must you fidget and be so impatient? Must you constantly question?

I don’t like the word transition these days. It’s everywhere. I’m learning, even though sometimes it may not seem like it; transitions can be good. Change can be good. Change is a kiss on the cheek after months of waiting and tears. It’s the joy of reunion after years of quiet delightful anticipation. I can’t run from transitions because they are inevitable and neither can you.

Dear one, I encourage and entreat thee to consider waiting for God as he leads you through the steady dance of transition. He leads, you follow, much like a man leading his wife for the first time as they take their first steps together as one flesh. And that is you. That is me. This is Christ leading the Church through this world, though it brings testing and sometimes tears. But this world isn’t our home. We’re just passing through. Transitions, waiting, and growing are seasons we’re passing through.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: dear girl, dear woman. - Ecc. 3:1

If He asks you to wait for Him, it’s certainly for good reason. I encourage you to hold fast as He does waiting for souls in need of repentance. He is the author and finisher of faith and He does all things well. All things to completion!

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. - Philippians 1:6

I want to be the kind of woman who believed the promises the King of Kings whispered into her ear long before she even became a believer of Christ who bled on Calvary. The kind of girl who doesn’t quiver or shake at the idea of being used by God. A woman who stands at attention and obeys at an instant instead of stuttering “oh no, not me. Not me, Jesus. That’s too hard. Maybe ask some other woman.” My prayer for all of us is that we would become women who stand in God’s truth - facing the waves of transition with full obedience and faith. May we all become this type of woman.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
A believer of six impossible things before breakfast. Always dreaming and thinking about drinking coffee. An enthusiast of books and lover of history. Writer for twenty plus years and striving to become more like Christ each day.