Is this another ‘single girl post?’ It is if you make it one; chances are, I have felt exactly the same way you have. This is pretty personal for me to write and I am somewhat reluctant to do it, but I am going to anyway because you may need to hear this. 

The past year has been a bit tough for me. My friends have seen the joys of new marriages, new engagements, and new babies. My little sister has also married and given birth to the cutest little boy in the past year. I have been overjoyed and celebrated with them. 

I have always prided myself on being the independent one. The single one, who at 29 years old, wants a husband but understands a man will not make her whole. However, in this past year, the enemy has cornered me on the ropes and kept me down punch after punch. And I have allowed it. There were days I would put on a smile during a baby shower or wedding, and then go home and just cry and cry. I would cringe when someone showed me pity, but I was secretly in a ‘Hotel California’ situation with my own self-pity – I tried to check out but could not leave. I would cry out to God: Why hasn’t my time come yet? Why don’t I have a husband yet? Why don’t I have a baby yet?  

A few weeks ago, things changed. My mom and sister were talking about my nephew’s baby clothes and saving them for the next one. I went home and cried because I wasn’t saving baby clothes; I am no where in the realm of even having children yet. Baby clothes. That’s what got me. I was sick of feeling like I was forgotten by God. I knew in my heart that was not the case, but I am human. I know I serve a loving God who has always shown to be more than faithful (Isaiah 40:11). As I cried, I asked Him to take this burden off me, and He did. Now please believe me when I say, I had prayed countless similar prayers, but this time, I truly surrendered. 

I had lost perspective. I realized, my singleness is one of the greatest blessings God could give me. A blessing I never knew I would need in my life. I have been able to go on so many life adventures – including going on a mission trip and attending physician assistant school – which may have been out of my reach if I were married or had children. 

I had lost sight of my worth and who should have my whole heart. My worth and identity is in Jesus. If I am not happy when it is Jesus and me, I will be miserable in a relationship. I have been preaching that your worth is not in man, but in Jesus. I myself had forgotten this and began listening to the lies the enemy whispered in my ear. I was placing my worth and happiness in the hands of a man I may not have even met yet. This poor fella! I had laid heaps of pressure on him – unbeknownst to him – to make me complete, and that is not and will never be his job.  

I forgot what true love looks like. It comes from Jesus dying on a cross for me; it is His sacrifice and forgiveness. I am wired to want control of situations, and I hold on so tightly to that shred of control I think I actually have, but Jesus is and always will be in control. He wanted me to surrender to His will and teach me this lesson. He wants me to trust Him and to understand He does everything right and His ways are just (Daniel 4:37). He is not “punishing” me; He is giving me the freedom to draw closer to His character and truth. I am whole no matter my relationship status. The Lord knows the desires of my heart; He won’t forget them.  

May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.

Psalm 20:4

Is it going to be a breeze now? Heck no. I pray every morning to surrender to God; His will, not my own. I have to pray for strength and peace. Do I have freak out moments? Of course; but I am happy, and I have always been happy, but I just needed a reminder. No one will ever fill all the empty spaces of my heart like God. Of course, I want to meet the man of my dreams, but in God’s beautiful timing. I vow to enjoy this particular season of my life and allow God to use me for His good in ways that may have been excluded if things were different. 

Do not waste another second crumpling under fear and lies of your future. Do not let the enemy, and yourself, destroy your own joy (John 10:10). You are complete through Christ, no matter what season of life you are in (Colossians 2:10). Trust in God because He wants to use you and your story – no matter your relationship status – to reach people for His kingdom.

What have you learned from your own seasons of singleness?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Whitney can be described by the opening lyrics of a few Tom Petty songs. She's a good girl who grew up in a small Indiana town who loves her mama, Jesus, and America too. She practices medicine as a physician assistant at an urgent care. Whitney is a music enthusiast and leads worship at her church. She has a heart for people, and wants to help young girls and women find their worth in Christ rather than what the world says of them. Whitney loves a good dad joke, the outdoors, spending time with family and friends, Southern manners, working on her fitness, attempting Pinterest crafts, and cheering on Indiana University basketball.