I’ve been thinking about prayer lately, how God has always been faithful with every yes and no. But the way He answers prayer always seems to be so different from the way I imagined He would. Lately, I have been reminded of God’s goodness in that. 

My senior year of high school I only applied to one college. My heart was set on one mid-western school. But in agony, I waited for my parents to decide if it would work financially. At the time, I thought my future only existed in this one school where I could study creative writing from a Christian worldview, so I begged God to let me go. He answered my prayer with a yes, but in the opposite way I imagined. 

The problem was money, so I asked God to provide. I knew that God owed me nothing, that forgiveness of sins and eternal life and fellowship with Him was more than I deserved. But I assumed that if His answer was yes, He would financially provide in powerful and dramatic ways. I didn’t think one-hundred-dollar bills would rain down from the sky, but I did imagine winning a big scholarship for a magnificent essay or a distant rich relative coming to my rescue.

Do you know what God did instead? He worked in small, ordinary ways. I did go to the school of my dreams. But that happened through small scholarships, a campus job, summer jobs, student loans, buying used books, and my parents' sacrifices. This is how God seems to answer prayer– at least in my life. I don’t claim to know His reasons. Yet I suspect it has to do with my sanctification.

At the end of each year of college, and sometimes semester, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to go back to school due to finances. This forced me to truly value the education I was getting, but more importantly, forced me to rely on Christ at each stretch of my college journey. Sometimes we didn’t know where the money would come for the next year, so I had to cling to Christ. I didn’t know what tomorrow held, so I had to cling to Christ. My relationship with the Lord grew because I had to rely on Him for so much every day.

I imagine that if God had allowed me to win a grand and glorious scholarship, I would have felt like I paid for school through my own merit. I would have been so grateful to the Lord, but I think I would have quickly forgotten what He did for me.

Remember the Israelites and how God brought them out of slavery to Egypt through the plagues and by parting the Red Sea? Do you also remember afterward how quickly the Israelites grumbled against the Lord when they got hungry and thirsty, or doubted that He would lead them to the promised land?

As the Bible says, “the people of Israel did not remember the LORD their God, who had delivered them from the hand of all their enemies on every side” (Judges 8:34, ESV). I am no better than them. I am “prone to wander, Lord” as the old hymn says.  God consistently let the nations surrounding them overtake them, all to show them how much they needed Him. If my college education had been easily paid for, I wouldn’t have so deeply felt my need for Him.

I find myself in a new season of experiencing God’s ordinary answers to prayer. I have been searching for a job for what feels like forever. My new part time job with limited hours feels more like half of an answer to prayer if I am honest. But again, I must cling to Christ in this, trusting Him to be my help and my provider.  

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful” (Hebrews 10:23, ESV).

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Allie Fullerton recently graduated from the Vermont College of Fine Arts with her MFA in Writing for Children and Young Adults. Her desire is to write good Christian fiction that changes, challenges, and entertains readers as well as shares the truth about the messy world we live in and the gospel that changes lives. Currently, Allie is working on a middle grade novel in verse. She lives with her husband Jared in Vermont where they enjoy reading and hiking together.