TIRZAH

View Original

Re-establishing My Relationship with the Father

​​​​Isaiah 43:1-2 – “But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, And he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are mine.”

My relationship with God has been rather steady since accepting Him into my life in 2015. But lately that steady relationship has been rocky or almost nearly non-existent.

I don’t know exactly when it started to dissolve, but it did. Maybe it was when I took off my cross ring, maybe it was during my time of stress where I attempted to solve my own problems versus leaning on Him. 

​​​​As Isaiah 43:1-2 says “But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, And he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are mine.” I’ve been feeling the call to return home after years of separation due to several traumatic things that occurred during the pandemic.

My high school friend committed suicide, and my narcisstic ex-boyfriend wielded God and Jesus as a weapon during our relationship. So much so that as a result, somewhere along the way, I stopped praying, stopped going to church, and didn’t put my bible quotes on the wall when I brought my first house last year.

A year later, I continued to be in denial about the severity of my separation from God until I realized that I had hidden everything and anything in my life regarding Him. Gone were the social media accounts, and blog newsletter I used to love. I managed to move into a new neighborhood, and never once thought about finding a church home until the last couple of months. 

As though my soul had finally healed of the weaponization of my faith, I finally began to notice the holes in my life. In noticing the holes, I slowly started to remember old routines and rhythms and reincorporate them. Here are some of the things that I’ve been slowly adding back in.

  1. Morning Rhythm – Previously one of the best components of my morning routine is to make God my first priority in the morning. Praying to Him before my feet hit the floor was an essential part of my day.

    One of my favorite morning prayers was and still is “Thank you Jesus for waking me. Thank you for the life you gave and the opportunity that this day will provide.” Adding this back into my morning has been amazing.

  2. Another way I used to  incorporate God into my mornings was to have 10 mins of couch time with God. Right now, I am using the First 5 app (https://first5.org/) is a great way to start off the day. Each reading takes five minutes and it is a product of Proverb 31 Ministries (https://proverbs31.org). 

  3. I downloaded the Daily Audio Bible podcast (https://dailyaudiobible.com/) as another good way to incorporate God and the Bible into my daily life. It is easy to listen to while I am getting ready for work in the morning when I am too lazy to read the First 5 passages of the day.

  4. Re-following the social media accounts that are godly and remind me to speak with Him has been great. I’ve forgotten how much joy I took in these accounts.

  5. I resubscribed to Desiring God (https://www.desiringgod.org/) via podcast and/or newsletter via the website. Getting a daily email reminder about God helps to keep him foremost in your mind. My favorite podcast from Pastor John Piper is “Look at the Book” where he breaks down one or several passages in the bible in interactive form. 

Recognizing that you have become separated from God’s flock is the first and hardest step. But once you acknowledge that you have strayed from the flock you can return (1 Peter 2: 25 - “Once you were like sheep who wandered away. But now you have turned to your Shepherd, the Guardian of your souls.”

In my case, I deeply think that God was giving me time to heal before He called me home again.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dominique R. Bounds started blogging in 2003 about life, faith, struggles with mental health, neurodivergence, and natural hair. She runs A Curly Transition (acurlytransition.com) where she continues to sporadically blog about her life. If you follow her on social media, you might catch a glimpse of the Pupster (her emotional support dog).