Several years ago, I had a conversation with someone that I heard was saying hurtful things about me behind my back. It was something I’d heard several times over the years and had already addressed it once previously before. But here we were again and I knew I needed to address this situation.

If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.

Matthew‬ ‭18:15‬ 

As I began to share my concerns with them, instead of winning that person back, I was hit head on with words I never expected to hear from someone I once held so dearly to my heart. I was told it was only a joke and I should get over it. But I continued on to let them know that I wasn’t laughing and certainly didn’t think it was a funny joke. Proverbs‬ ‭26:18-19‬ even says, “Just as damaging as a madman shooting a deadly weapon is someone who lies to a friend and then says, ‘I was only joking.’”

That’s when the attack of words went to another level, all because I wouldn’t accept the justification of those words as a joke. I was belittled, mocked, and called names. The tears didn’t flow until the conversation was over because I didn’t want them to see me cry. I didn’t want to give any more power to their words. But I will be honest: their words cut straight into my heart. I replayed those words over and over in my mind because I couldn’t believe what I heard come out of this person’s mouth. It was pure venom. 

But do you know what I did? I walked away! 

Although I once believed the lies this person told, I now knew there were things I wouldn’t and shouldn’t tolerate in this person’s behavior towards me. I made a decision from that moment on to not let their words affect my future and what God wants to do in my life. And you can do the same thing too! 

Friend, who told you the lies you believe about yourself? Who told you that you aren’t pretty enough? That you’re too short or too tall? Who called you dumb, annoying, dramatic, or emotional? Who told you that you’re not worth loving, don’t have what it takes, or aren’t good enough? I imagine at this moment you are going through the mental dialogue of every harsh word or hurtful thing anyone has ever spoken to you. You didn’t forget. 

If you’re holding on to these venomous words and playing them on repeat in your head, I’d like to suggest to you to send these words packing. Let them go. You don’t have to tolerate people in your life that don’t support and uplift you with kind words and encouragement (Proverbs‬ ‭18:21‬). Period, end of story. 

But friend, if the person saying these hurtful things is yourself – stop! Seriously. You are not doing yourself any favors by making yourself small. Most importantly, God created you exactly how He intended. You are God’s ultimate creation. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). We all have room for growth, but He makes no mistakes. You’re not the “oops” of the bunch. 

You are chosen.

You have a purpose. 

You have a destiny. 

A Prayer 

Thank you Lord for your Word. Your Word is the truth that I will place my trust and beliefs about who You say I am. Help me to trust what your Word say about me and deafen my ears to the words of the enemy. In Jesus name, Amen!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jaime Roever is a published writer, public speaker, ordained minister, and justice seeker that has a love to minister to women of all ages. She is a communicator at heart and is passionate about sharing the word and it’s practical truths that apply to real everyday life and how God will meet you there. Jaime lives in Texas with her husband Matt, and she is a mom to two sons. Jaime is Cooper certified as a physical trainer and is a self defense instructor, providing women with the tools to live their best life. She also works with the Special Victims Unit for the San Antonio Police Department as an advocate for victims of domestic violence.