“At 3:00 a.m., the noises stopped and the storm finally passed. I sat in the dark for six hours holding my two children on their bed. During the night, the water had come under the front door and rose to three feet inside our house. When the sun rose, I waded through the water and stepped outside to see the damage.” Dionne paused and wiped her eyes. 

Looking up at me, she said, “The whole neighborhood had changed. I barely recognized it. The winds had stripped the trees down to sticks, and the waters had ruined all of our crops and livestock pens. When I turned around toward my neighbor’s place, the entire house was gone. It was swept away in the storm.”

I met Dionne while working for a humanitarian aid organization on an island southeast of Haiti, called Dominica, assisting with recovery after Hurricane Maria hit in September 2017. It was unlike any storm Dominica had ever encountered and the losses were immense. This storm tore the roofs off houses, the wind stripped the jungle canopy bare, and anything that wasn’t a root crop was destroyed. Landslides and flash floods damaged the island’s water and sewage systems, contaminating many water sources.

For months afterward, most people lacked clean water and could not use their bathrooms. Thousands were left without secure housing. Floodwaters even swept some people out to sea and their bodies were never found. When I first met them, many of my Dominican coworkers were standing in the wake of severe trauma. Dionne, and all the friends I came to know on the island, told me stories of how they survived the storm with one thing in common. Although they had lost everything—belongings, livelihoods, homes, and even family members—they were content. They would always say, “But I thank God I have life.”

Scripture reminds us the things of the world will leave us bone dry (1 Timothy 6). We will never feel whole, restlessly seeking other sources of contentment until we find true satisfaction in Jesus (Philippians 4:10-13). In America, many live very comfortably compared to the vast majority of people beyond our borders.

Living in Dominica, alongside people with less—less amenities, less possessions, less money, less access to diverse activities—made me realize my contentment was dependent on those things rather than Christ. God showed me how discontent I can become, even when I have everything I need to survive and more. Even as I write this, five months later, I know I’m prone to discontentment every day. Why is contentment such a hard thing to grasp?

Particularly in American culture, in which I was raised, we have a hard time pinning down what “contentment” means. A friend of mine recently described how the word “contentment” feels more compelling than “satisfaction.” In America, if we say something is “satisfactory,” we mean it’s fine, but not great. It implies a sense of still needing improvement, perhaps because culturally we are drawn to excess. Enough is not really enough.

Merriam-Webster says contentment is “feeling satisfaction with one’s possessions, status, or situation.” Scripture offers a definition that is almost the exact opposite. In place of our one English word for “contentment,” the Bible uses three closely-related Greek words, which all essentially boil down to “having enough,” “self-sufficient” and “independent” of external things or circumstances. These three words come from an understanding that you have enough to get by, your most basic needs are met, and you are not reliant on anything or anyone besides God to bring you to that place. You are independent of things and circumstances, depending only on God.

But it doesn’t really feel that simple, does it?

I struggle with being content every day. I end up in thought patterns like this:

If I can just get a cup of coffee this morning, then I’ll be able to keep it together.

If I can just lose five more pounds, I look as thin as she does and then I’ll be content.

And if I can just find the right guy and get married, then I’ll have everything I need.

And there’s nothing inherently wrong with coffee or losing five pounds or getting married. It’s foolishly believing those things will finally make me feel whole.

Charles Spurgeon wrote, “…if we would have [contentment], it must be cultivated. It will not grow in us by nature; it is the new nature alone that can produce it and even then we must be specially careful and watchful that we maintain and cultivate the grace which God has sown in it.” Contentment is not natural for us, but by the power of God, we can work to cultivate it within ourselves.

It starts in our minds. All throughout, Scripture warns us about the power of thought. Dwelling on something, letting it fester, replaying it over and over, eventually affects your reality. Our thoughts evoke feelings whether we like it or not. Allowing our minds to wander, inevitably changes the way we feel: about ourselves, others, and our circumstances. Scripture is clear about how much power our minds wield over our emotions, and the truth is, harnessing our thought-life is anything but natural. 

It is not supposed to come easily, but with God’s help, we can start to carve new thought-paths and mental habits.

Eliminate comparison

Take a break from social media. According to Deloitte’s 2019 Global Millennial Survey, we live in one of the most dissatisfied and disillusioned generations yet, and research suggests it is because we constantly compare our lives with those we follow on social media—lives which are not always truthful about their reality.

Make a commitment to log off for one or two weeks and see what happens. Notice how often you think about logging back on. Notice how much extra time you have. Notice how much better you listen to the people around you. Notice the peace that comes without the white noise of Instagram stories in your head. Notice how much joy you feel (Prov. 14:30). Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” How right she was!

Count your blessings

Take time to remember God’s faithfulness in your life: answering prayers, encouraging your heart through scripture, giving you peace during great trials, or bringing you clarity about a decision. Throughout the Old Testament as God leads the nation of Israel, he tells them to stop and commemorate how he has rescued them, so they won’t forget his faithfulness. Of course they always forget, time and time again, just like we do.

God knows we’re forgetful. He knows we can slip into being totally self-absorbed in a heartbeat, so he gives physical reminders like holidays, baptism, communion, and the Church, to remind us who he is and what he has done. Making a list by physically writing down blessings from God is one way I’ve learned to recall his faithfulness in my life. Through that practice, even on the toughest days, I stop wishing I was someone or somewhere else and walk away feeling satisfied, filled with peace.

Meditate on Scripture

Choose one short verse about contentment in Christ. I chose Hebrews 13:5 (NIV), “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’” 1 Timothy 6:6-8 is a good one too. Write your verse on a sticky note and put it wherever you’ll see it often. Try the corner of your bathroom mirror, your nightstand, your table, or above your kitchen sink. Memorize the words, spend time contemplating them, and turn the phrases into prayers.

Go Marie-Kondo on your thought patterns and when you find yourself wandering into comparison (at work, the gym, or on Instagram), go to the words of that verse. I was encouraged to use this method of meditating on scripture for years, but never actually took steps to try it. When I finally did, my thoughts changed drastically and I found it easier to keep difficulties I encountered in perspective.

Dwell on Jesus’ character

Take a look at Jesus. Consider who he is through what he does: he walks with lepers, comforts the marginalized, eats lunch with scoundrels, frees the demon-possessed, raises the dead. He goes to the cross for us and rises, alive, three days later. Jesus came that we could have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10).

Remembering who He is and spending time with Him in prayer will fill your heart with His love, and reset your gaze on Him. The reason Dionne was able to thank God for saving her life, even though her world had been shattered, was because she knew him. She recalled the ways he had been faithful in the past, and she knew he would be with her all the way forward. Jesus does not promise us lives free of pain, but he does promise to be with us always, to the end of the age (Matt. 28:20).

Contentment is not about finding peace within our circumstances—it is about receiving the peace of Christ regardless of our circumstances. Start now by writing down moments of God’s faithfulness in your life, and thank Him for all the blessings He has given you. Pray that Jesus will lead you into true contentment, which comes only from Him.

Photos courtesy of Amy Kuhl

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Claire Zasso was born and raised in California with many books and mountain air. Currently, she works for a Christian international relief organization, supporting hurricane recovery programs. She loves coffee, scuba diving, leading worship with her guitar, hiking in the Sierra Nevadas, jamming to classic rock, and showing others the freedom found in knowing Jesus.