One of the things I think that young people have the most questions about is counseling. Should they try it? What are the benefits? How do they even find a counselor? As someone who holds therapy in very high esteem, I decided to write an article answering questions and providing encouragement for those hoping to get into therapy or find a counselor. 

First, off before we begin, it is only fair that I share my counseling journey with you. When I was a junior in college, I started suffering from pretty severe anxiety. I had panic attacks several times a day, I was having trouble eating and sleeping, and I had no idea why. There weren't any sudden or huge changes in my life to explain this growing anxiety, and I found myself stricken with a mental illness that seemed too tough to face on my own. 

As I was drowning secretly in my anxiety one day, I just broke down in the bathroom on my sorority hall. I was chatting with a friend, and she turned to me and asked if I was ok. All of a sudden, tears were stinging my eyes, and I was shaking my head no. I was so grateful this friend took me under her wing and told me about the counseling center on my college campus. She shared with me her struggles and how she attended that same counseling center for a whole year. I was shocked. 

First, I was ashamed. I didn't want to admit that I needed help. And worse, what if I told the counselor the thoughts going on inside my head, and she told me I was crazy? Then, I would have to get escorted to a mental hospital. Also, the pride in me was saying I wasn't like one of those weak people who go to counseling, wasn't I so much stronger than this? 

But by talking with my friend on her dorm room bed, I was able to understand that I was in a position to need help. With my friend's encouragement, I began attending counseling regularly and getting the help I needed for my anxiety. My therapist was a God-sent, and I am so grateful to have been able to work through a lot of my issues with her.

After college, I also sought counseling as a regular working woman. My parent's separation had taken much more of a toll on me than I realized, so I found myself seeking out a counselor in my area and meeting with her for over a year. Recently, I also started attending counseling again, just to work through some other relational baggage I realized I accumulated over the years.

So, suffice to say, I am not in expert in counseling, but I do have experience going through counseling. I hope I can impart some of that wisdom to you today and help you in the process of becoming the person God created you to be.

How Do You Know You Need Counseling?

This as a bit of a trick question, because I think everyone could benefit from counseling. It's easy to think that you need to be a mess to go to counseling when, in reality, counselors want to help you before you hit rock bottom. Everyone, by the time they enter college or their twenties, has been affected by relationships, identity, media, body image issues, and more. Even if you have a great relationship with your parents, you still were affected by how they raised you and the choices they made.

It can be great to have time once a month or every couple of weeks to talk to someone about what is going on in your life and what you are struggling with. We all have worries and struggles, but when we are consumed by them, we aren't able to live our lives to the fullest. The devil will whisper to us that we should be ashamed to seek out counseling or that what we are experiencing is normal when often it isn't. He doesn't want us to get to be the healthiest version of ourselves. 

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.  -James 5:16

I remember my counselor in college asking me when I started worrying throughout the day. I replied easily: “Whenever I wake up.” I had always been someone prone to anxiety and fretting in the morning wasn't abnormal to me. I thought everyone did that. She kindly let me know that no, not many people experience that. Most people don't have thoughts they can't shake out of their heads.

I am sure many of you have experienced similar negative or anxious thoughts that you convince yourself are normal even when they are verging on unhealthy. Everyone needs a safe space to process their worries and struggles, so that is why counseling can be edifying. Instead of only leaning on friends or family members who may not be qualified to give you answers or tips for coping, lean on a counselor who has gone to school and is equipped to help you get out of the mess or hardship you are facing. 

Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. -Proverbs 11:14

What Do I Talk About In Counseling?

You might wonder what one usually talks about or what goes on in a regular therapy session. It is different for everyone, but here are some areas that counselors often specialize in: 

• Family relationships

• Friendships

• Romantic relationships

• Body shame or dysmorphia

• Identity struggles

• The desire to prove yourself

• Fears of the future

• Irrational fears

• Addiction to drugs or pornography 

• Feeling overwhelmed or under-qualified in life 

• Workplace relationships or job hardships 

• Life transitions 

• Unmet expectations

• Dating

• Lies you can't stop believing

• Insecurities about yourself 

There are so many things I could add to this list, but this is a good place to get started if you are not sure what you would want to discuss with a therapist. We all experience relationships, transitions and unmet expectations, so why not discuss them with someone who can help equip you? 

The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. -Proverbs 20:5

How Do I Find a Therapist?

There are many easy ways to find a therapist. Many churches provide resources for Christian counseling services that are in the area or they may have counselors on staff. If you are involved at a local church, asking someone to point you in the right direction to find a counselor is a great place to start. 

I found my current counselor through Google. I googled counselors in my area and had many websites come up with counselors that were right near me. Psychology Today lists local counselors in your area, the areas they specialize in, and what insurances they accept. This was an easy way for me to find people in my area that took my current insurance. 

For college students, almost all college campuses provide some sort of free counseling, ask a professor, or look around on your school's website to find more information. The counseling center is normally in the same vicinity as your health center. 

If all that fails and you are still stumped, then ask a friend. I guarantee that there are many people in your community that have sought out counseling, so don't be afraid to ask at a trusted friend if they know of any good counselors. 

Should I Have a Christian Counselor?

This one is really up to you. My current counselor is a Christian, but she works at her own private practice. It was important for me to find someone that shared my faith. I also wanted someone who could have a Christian perspective when speaking to me. When looking for counselors online, they often list their religion, and as you message a potential counselor, don't be afraid to ask them about that if you want a Christian counselor. There should be Christian counseling services in your area as well that you would guarantee that your counselor is a Christian. All in all, if this is important to you, it is easy to find many counselors that are Christian and willing to help you with a faith perspective. 

How Should I Align My Heart For Counseling? 

I think that many of the reasons people don't have positive counseling experiences are because they hold themselves back. They go in closed off, and sure it won't help them, so it doesn't. You have to be really honest in counseling and it can be tough to open up that much to another person. But, if you want to get better and want to be healthier truly, it's necessary. 

Without counseling people are walking around with specks in their eyes. It kind of hurts, and they always know it's there, but they don't want to bother with removing it. After all, so many other people have specks in their eyes too, so it's normal. But then, they start to go to counseling to remove it and for the first couple of months, all they can feel is that speck being removed from their eyes and it hurts like crazy. They don't think they can handle the pain, it's worse than it's ever been, and they aren't sure why they are subjecting themselves to all this. Then, finally, the speck is removed. And they blink and realize that they can see so much more clearly without the speck. And they wonder why they walked around with that speck in their eye for so long when they could've been seeing clearly. 

Friends, counseling is hard work. It takes you being willing to be vulnerable and work through very hard things. It can feel like you are never going to get better. Often the days you go to counseling will be the hardest days of the week, and you might find yourself not able to stop crying afterward. But you will get better. With hard work, a great counselor who is a good fit for you, and the help of the Lord, you will be able to get out of that dark hole and remove that speck. As someone who has gone through the process of counseling many times, I can promise you that it gets better, and your hard work and tears on couches will pay off. 

For by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory. -Proverbs 24:6

Why Get Counseling?

Counseling will benefit all relationships and areas of your life, like your relationship with family and friends, with yourself, and with God. When you are a healthy person, you will attract healthy and non-toxic people into your life. You can be there for others so much better when you are in a healthy place yourself. If you want to be a healthier and better version of yourself for you and others, consider counseling. 

Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed. -Proverbs 15:22

What If I Don’t Click With My First Counselor? 

Finding the right counselor is like finding the right doctor or even the right roommate. It might take time. We are looking for different types of personalities or dispositions when going to counseling. I would advise giving your counselor at least three sessions before you can know for sure if they are a good fit or not. Make sure you give each counselor a fair chance. We all envision a certain type of person as a counselor, but counselors are real people too, not caricatures that we watch on TV dramas. They are going to be flawed, so don't expect them to be perfect. 

Also, it takes a counselor awhile to get to know you. If you quit after the first session, they don't have time to get to know you well enough to help. Realize that it is perfectly normal not to find the right counselor right away. It's ok to give it a couple of tries. Just don't give up. Finding the right counselor for you is going to change your whole life I promise. If you don't find the right counselor, go back online or to your church and try again. There are so many people out there that can be a good fit for you, so get back on the horse and try again. 

I hope that this article can help answer some of the most common questions I have experienced about counseling. Just remember that you are not alone in your struggles and that seeking counseling is a normal and healthy part of life. God doesn't want you to sit in your sin or struggles. He wants to use His people to reach you in a big way.

If you have further questions or want to get in touch to ask me more questions, feel free to comment below and I will try to get back to you! I promise that whatever you are struggling with will not last forever. God is a God who always sees us, and He sees you right now wherever you are.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Rachel resides in Lancaster, Pa where she is a Digital Marketing Specialist. A recent graduate from Grove City College, Rachel hopes that her articles can help girls through hard times in college and also as they transition into the real world. In her spare time, you can find Rachel reading, hanging with her small group, exploring cute cafes, and longing for the ocean. You can find more of her writing at christiangirlcode.org