True confession - I am 100% a Type 2 on the Enneagram.  For those who don’t know, that means I’m a helper. 

At the age of 29, I’m running a non-profit, I’ve helped start a different one, and lead several ministries.  

Right now, I’m finally learning the gift of boundaries.  God had to take me on a harrowing journey for a season to learn that importance, however!  

If you take a step backward into my life, I’ve been in ministry since I was around six. 

That would be the time my parents finished Bible college.  

We, as a family, were natural Type 2’s I think.  There was the year a single mom lived in our small home (She gave me an American girl doll, which I don’t think I’ll ever forget!).  

I remember my friend’s mom having cancer and all 3 kids coming and staying at our home every evening.  

There were the young men from the streets that we would take to church. Then, there were the hours cleaning the church and assisting the head pastors.  

I think you’re seeing where I learned to help people.

These are all wonderful things to do. They are things I continue to strive to do when God makes that space available to me.  As it says in James 1:27 NIV, pure religion is to help the orphaned and the widowed.  However, we live in a new culture that almost takes this to the extreme.  

I was at a conference recently and heard the following thoughts on our current situation:

“We live in an age that has taught us to put our identity in what we do.  For example, schools teach us that we were accidentally created.  One day there was a boom and oops here we are.  Well, what is the point of us being here?  There was no purpose in us being created.  Now, you end up in the self - help classes in schools.  Those classes tell you that maybe you were an accident, but don’t worry, help people and you have a purpose.”

This culture creates a clash of people who don’t know their true identity, a chaos that lands us in a state of constantly striving to serve others for our own reputation. I’ve seen it carry over into the church as well. 

There is the idea that I was created to serve, so I should serve until I hurt.  

Instead of creating unity, there is almost an air of competition on who has served more.  In my own life, I have felt that clash as I run ministries and get offered to help with a dozen other ministries. 

 Imagine my childhood, mixed with my Enneagram, and my natural inclination to serve in ministries!

God knew what I needed at the right time and I thankfully stepped out of my full-time job to abide in Him from January to June of this year.  During that time I discovered so much about myself and who I am in Him.  

One of the biggest things I learned is that He created YOU specifically with your own dreams and desires. When you are seeking Him first, He will show you how those dreams and desires align with you.  In those six months of freedom, I looked for things I would enjoy doing.  

That involved weekly hosting a group of guys (and one or two girls) at my home, playing games with them, and having family time. 

 I was creating a home for teen mothers that I thought I wanted to live inside, but I discovered that my favorite time of week was with a house full of boys eating dinner and playing games.  Many other hours were spent traveling and I discovered once again how much I love showing people new parts of the world.  I was able to get in touch with exactly how God created me and what dreams He had given me.

Know what’s crazy?  That’s how I learned boundaries.  I learned boundaries by who God was - spending time in His word and in prayer.  At the same time, I also discovered who I was - what I enjoyed and why I enjoyed these things.  During this time, I reconnected with my love of writing and resumed writing.  I discovered once again how I loved meeting with young women in coffee shops and helping them discover what they love and teaching them to pursue their dreams. 

As I learned this, I learned what I was called to and what I was equally not called to. This allowed me to say “no” to many opportunities because they didn’t line up with my calling and the strengths God gifted me with.  It also allowed me to say “yes” to opportunities I may not have said “yes” to before.  Boundaries were built in as I sought God’s will/dreams/plans for my life.  

If you are struggling to set boundaries in your life, I would encourage you to spend time in God’s word, pray, and explore what you like.  It may not involve you quitting your job (as we do need to pay our bills!), but it may mean you saying no to things outside of work so you can find exactly what God has called YOU to do here on this earth.  My dear friend, you are called for a purpose and when you seek Him and His calling, you will find what He has for you to do and God’s Kingdom will grow massively by you staying in the boundaries of that calling.  Don’t let anyone tell you that you must be more or less than He has called you to.  

Jesus loves you and He created you and you have a purpose! 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Alycia Marie is a free-spirited wanderer and follower of Christ. She spends her days exploring around the city with the unique family that God has given her. At this time, she is currently working with non-profits and churches to tackle rebuilding families in the city of Milwaukee. In her free time, she plays with preschoolers, writes in coffee shops, and travels the world.