When You Wish It Was Your Wedding, Remember This
Here I was, receiving yet another picture of an engagement ring from a newly-claimed fiancé of a friend.
First, I want to say that I am sincerely happy for all my friends who are getting into relationships, getting engaged and married. Although, I must admit I feel a tinge of sadness when I hear the news of another friend getting engaged because I wish it was me!
Even as a little girl I dreamt of the white dress I would wear, the flowers I would hold, and of course, the man I would marry. Those thoughts didn’t stop as I got older; they just became more severe, even to the point of idolatry. Rather than praising God for the ability to spend my time here on earth with another one of God’s creation, I worshipped the idea of a wedding and what life would be like when I get married.
I wanted to be a beautiful bride, and God has been showing me that it is not the dress that will make me beautiful, but rather my heart and how I love. And what better way to learn how to love, than from love Himself?
“The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love” -1 John 4:8
If you are like me and feel tempted by the wedding Pinterest boards and The Knot's instagram, let God direct your desire for marriage in a positive way as He has done for me.
First, remember you are not alone. When my desire for personal affection was rising God extended His Hand to me, literally! He told me to grab hold of His Hand and when I did I felt His presence cover my arm. Now, during worship, school, or even while shopping at the store, I grab onto His hand, which reminds me I am never alone. Plus, don’t forget about all the friends and family that love you!
“Nevertheless I am continually with You; You have taken hold of my right hand.” -Psalm 73:23
Keep your eyes on the prize: your relationship with the Lord. I used to often dream about having Bible study dates with my future beloved. But, God convicted me that I don’t go out to have Bible studies with Him in a quaint coffee shop like I do with my future husband in my daydreams. Since then I have made an effort to spend a "date night" with the Lord to spend time to draw near to Him and to learn more about the One whom my soul loves.
Let go of all bitterness. God has showed me that all the bitterness I had turned into legalistic guidelines. Not all relationships will be the same. So, use this single season to break down the walls you may have put up from past relationships or past hurts so your heart can be completely ready to love.
Surrender all insecurity. When people ask my relationship status I normally answer in one of two ways: pridefully, as a defense mechanism, or remorsefully, falling into the insecurities of why I’m not in a relationship. However, we are not alone because we can’t find anyone to love us; rather because God is taking this time to perfect us. He is also able to use us in ways that He might not be able to when if were in a relationships.
For now, I am allowing the Lord to transform my heart and show me what love really is. The Good Father knows how to take care of His children. I am at a point in my life where I am not anxious for my future beloved, but rather I have learned to be patient and and to use this time to draw near to God.
// image via