What Do Guys Think About Modesty?
Have you ever walked into your favorite store and seen a skirt you just had to have only to hold it up and see that it was too short? Well, I have. Standing at approximately 5’9, my life has been a constant struggle of trying to find shorts, skirts, and homecoming dresses that weren’t too short. There were so many dresses I would try on when shopping that I wouldn’t even dare to zip up because the dress barely reached the top of my thighs.
So, what are we as Christian girls in the midst of this world supposed to do? Is it really our fault that boys can’t control their lusts and attractions?
I recently surveyed about 50 males, ages 18-22, on what they really thought about modesty.
When asked how short a skirt could be while still being considered modest, 62 percent thought that anything shorter than slightly above the knee was getting to be immodest. I can’t even walk into any teen section of a store and find a skirt or shorts that are close to passing my mid-thigh!
I was also startled to find that 65 percent of the boys surveyed said they had trouble concentrating whenever a girl was wearing something too short or low cut!
Girls, do you have any idea that when you draw a guy’s attention with what you’re wearing, you are placing his integrity and self-control on the line?
Do you realize that by buying the size “slightly smaller” shirt or “slightly shorter than your Dad would like” skirt, you're really hurting guys who are trying their best to keep their thoughts pure and respectful? That when all you can see is skin and curves on display, a man can't see anything but that what is right in front of him wherever he goes - sometimes, even in church!
I know from experience that it can be hard to not buy something that shows more leg than is really appropriate because, hey, I like guys staring at me as much as the next girl. But is it worth your purity and integrity? Or your guy friends' integrity?
All girls crave attention from boys, but to be honest the attention we are craving from them can only be filled by one person - God.
I will praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are your works. And that my soul knows very well. -Psalm 139:14
I know that on mornings when your hair is crazy or you have dozens of pimples it’s hard to believe that God knit you together in your mother’s womb, perfectly....but He did. To Him you are His most beautiful and precious creation, something He cherishes with His whole heart.
No boy telling you you’re cute, just because you wore that shorter skirt, can ever compare to the approval of God.
So how can you look cute and remain modest in warmer temperatures?
- Know your own body. For example, my long legs cause me to be super careful about the shorts and skirts I choose to wear. You don’t wear your size on the outside of your clothes, so no one knows the number on your clothing tag unless you tell them. Take the time to figure out what makes your body look good - clothes that flatter and draw attention to the beauty within.
- Have people hold you accountable. Go shopping with friends who also value their modesty (or even your mom, because she does know best!). Always ask yourself would I wear this in front of my Dad? Or better yet, can I stand in the presence of God in this? If the answer is no, then you have your answer.
- Find new places to shop. If your favorite store only sells super short shorts, find a new store to go to for bottoms (even if all your friends are wearing that brand). If you’re having trouble wondering what is too short, ask someone you trust for their honest answer. When in doubt, go for a maxi dress/skirt - they are super comfy and still stylish, whether with a light cardigan or a jean jacket on cooler evenings.
- Don’t sacrifice your style. It might mean looking a little harder to find a cute skirt that won’t show your butt if you bend over. Or it might mean having to get something altered to fit you. It might seem tedious now, but trust me your future husband will definitely appreciate it one day... because it pleases God now! You don't need to be frumpy or "dress like a grandma" - wear the patterns and styles that draw your eye, but put your modesty first - not the latest trends. Be influenced by the Spirit, not by fads.
In my survey, 64 percent of guys said when they initially meet a girl they determine how much they respect her by what she’s wearing. So even if you think guys won’t notice you if you aren’t showing off your assets, trust me they still will.
Besides, as a young women in God's court, we aren't seeking the kind of guy who is drawn to physical beauty and the lusts of the flesh. Because, the kind of attitude and character that you display is the kind of husband you will have. So, if you're praying for a Godly man to share your life with, then you won't get that with sexy clothes, mile-long legs or a pretty pout.
For all you girls out there who are afraid to throw away your Daisy Dukes because you are afraid of being overlooked, remember that your worth comes from God, not some guy on the football team. One day God will bring the right guy into your life who will notice your true beauty....and it will have nothing to do with what you’re wearing.