Dear Single People,
To my single ladies:
This needs to be said and this is for every girl: you are absolutely lovely and worth being loved. Trust me, I’m in this same boat as you, so these words are for me as well. You are worth more than being stuck in the dark of self-doubt.
Do you know what God thinks you are worth? He says that you were worth sending His one and only son to save you, love you, and suffer for you. Christ pursued and continually pursues you. Friend, you are "engraved on the palm of His hand" (Isaiah 49:16). You are not a prize easily forgotten. Jesus knew that you were worth leaving His throne in heaven to be ridiculed, hated, and killed so that you may experience His love. To Him, you are worth more than any jewel.
Sisters, if we yearn to imitate Christ in every facet, then we must see ourselves as worthy as well. Don’t allow yourselves to be defined by how a boy reacts (or doesn’t react) to who you are; rather, react to who Christ knows you to be. You are a precious daughter to the King of all kings. Sweet sister, you have royalty in your veins.
"You are a chosen people...God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light." -1 Peter 2:9
The powerful God of creation chose you, cherishes you, and adores you as His prized possession. Don’t let some Joe Blow come into the castle Christ has set before you and mess your world up. If a boy doesn’t pursue you and admire the magnificent daughter of the Lord that you are, he is not worth your time or your heart.
Your heart is incredibly precious to the Lord – it’s how He communicates with you and He is not one to share it easily. So my friends, don’t leave your heart in the open to be picked at and tattered. Guard your heart and protect it with Christ’s truth and strength. Some man will be worthy enough one day to earn your heart, but until then see yourself as what you are: a beautiful soul, capable of loving others unconditionally, and worthy of being pursued by a man of God.
[pullquote width="300" float="left"]"Child of God, you cost Christ too much for him to forget about you." -Charles Spurgeon [/pullquote]
Lastly, that hole you feel after you watch your favorite rom-com, a proposal video or see another lovey-dovey couple is not a gap that can be filled by a relationship. That hole can be temporarily satisfied with a boy’s attention, but I promise you the only thing that can truly fill that gap - fully and completely - is God’s love.
"Those who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love." -Jonah 2:8
When we put so much of our emphasis on the idols of our lives: how boys view us, earthly loneliness, vanity, etc.. we are losing precious moments with the very essence of Love -- our God. Our everlasting joy is not found at the end of The Notebook and Ryan Gosling's beard. Unless your heart is grounded and protected by Him, everything you experience will feel incomplete and will fade. You are adorned by a humble spirit that is worth more than gold (1 Peter 3:4). A man of God will notice how you live and treat others, not how you look. Be content with Christ before you seek a human relationship. And, when a worthy man does come along, your relationship will be joyous, beautiful, and Godly.
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
To the fellas:
Dear brothers, you have the important job of protecting a girl's heart and pursuing the woman God has chosen for you. But more important, is your pursuit of Christ and allowing your faith to lead you.
Us girls are easily hurt and our hearts are very valuable. Putting our hearts and trust in your hands is not a deed that is easily done. So, before you take on that responsibility, seek God's will above all else.
"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all ... will be given to you." -Matt. 6:33
This applies to both women and men, but often when we see someone that we like, we tend to pray that the Lord would put him/her in His will for our lives. This is a sure way of putting God in a box. God has a plan that is far better than the one we conjure for ourselves. So, instead of picking someone out and praying that she will be the one for you, allow God to do the picking... "submit your ways to the Lord" (Psalm 37:5). Pray that you would have the wisdom to follow His voice when the time comes.
Let me cue you guys in on a secret: A man who loves the Lord more than a girl is extremely attractive to us. But when it does come time to pursue a girl, the process can certainly be hit or miss for us.
Most girls want to be loved and when we’re not -- as Taylor Swift illustrates so repetitively -- it affects us deeply. Your duty is to pursue a girl with the zeal of how Christ pursued the church (Ephesians 5:25).
If anyone ever were to meet my dad, they would understand how much a daughter means to a father -- how precious we are to them. Even an obscenely intimidating Italian-Brooklyn dad like mine can’t compare to how God cherishes His daughters. Be clear with your intentions and think them through prayerfully before you act. Don’t throw your attention around to a bunch of girls -- that’s a sure way to gather a poor reputation and make a girl feel invaluable. Whether or not words mean much to you, they stick in our female minds for a long, long time. Something that may seem minuscule to you may be seriously taken to heart for a girl.
If you are seeking to pursue a girl, the process of reaching her heart can start by genuinely wanting to know her. To us, "gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body" (Prov. 16:24). This may seem obvious, but honestly – when you guys ask us how we feel, about our family, how we view things etc.. it scratches the surface of us opening up.
"Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." -Romans 12:10
Show a girl that you can be trusted. Trust is difficult enough for a girl, but add past hurts in the mix and we lock our ability to be vulnerable far, far, far away from anything that might hurt us again. Show us that you are able to hold our heart and protect it. Brothers, this isn’t only for the girl’s sake; girls not only yearn to be loved, but to also give love. Women are incredibly compassionate beings and we want to show you our ability to care. Guys, a woman of God is not something easily grasped; unless you prove yourselves worthy, no woman of God will let you in... and rightfully so!
Be men of God, and you will find yourself a beautiful daughter of the Lord.
So my ladaays and my fellas… seek first the Kingdom of God and the desires of your hearts will come. Act in the Lord and surely, He will be present in all things. Rejoice in the character of Christ.. fall deeper in love with Him, for every good gift and every perfect gift is from above (James 1:17).
Sisters, you are worth more than what this superficial world says. You are more than your body, your looks, and your relationship status. You are HIS.
"You are all-together beautiful, my love.. there is no flaw in you!" -Song of Solomon 4:7
Brothers, be men of God and love as Christ loves. Pursue Christ and then, when the time comes, pursue a girl with the right intentions. Make her feel like what she truly is: a unique, lovely princess to the King. No king would give his princess away blindly. You serve the King of kings, so earn His daughter’s hand.
I know this topic is weird and difficult, but it is a huge part of our lives -- especially at this time in our lives.
Relationships are awesome things -- they are beautiful companionships that our sweet Lord created for us to joyfully grow closer to Him. So hey, let's do 'em right!
// image one by Yelena Bosovik I image two by Sydney Fort